the Philippine Daily Antidote

THE BIG ROBOT EPIC MOVIE

2011-07-01T09:46:00.011+08:00

Optimus Prime: "Where's your robotics?" *

Sentinel Prime going sentimental prime: "I'm only robot." **

Hahaha! Now I can't wait for a parody of Transformers 3, with actors in cosplay costumes.
______________________

* "Where's your humanity?"

** "I'm only human."

From Scientific American (journal): Is the Universe the Ultimate Computer?

2011-06-05T11:07:00.005+08:00

Check out this World Science Festival event from NYU's Eisner & Lubin Auditorium, Saturday, June 4, 7:45 PM - 9:30 PM ET.

Human consciousness and intelligence are properties of the universe. From an anti-anthropocentric (less human-centered) view, humans are actually a subcomponent/extension of a "CPU." We, humans, are just quasi-intelligent, quasi-conscious, limited to our devices and the human point of view such as rampant literalism in our metaphors/illusions/symbolisms/religious experiences/equations/physico-chemical laws.

To the hardcore theists and old atheists, we have to disabuse ourselves of the old connotations of a "CPU" or god (especially the conceited, worship-demanding, human-male-looking god). [Pahtheistic/New Atheistic view]

why people converted to christianity and islam

2011-06-01T16:34:00.003+08:00

Pantheism is way better than the literalism of Abrahamic religions. On the other hand, in history, many people converted to Islam and Christianity because pantheism and other religions were less personal; they were prone to ritualistic violence.

In Abrahamic religions, it was easy to relate to an anthropomorphic deity who says, I feel you/I cry for you. These religions were relatively more humane (and even less sexist) in one stage of our history. Of course, these religions were also assisted by colonization.

Anthropocentric, Arrogant Literalism

2011-06-01T16:31:00.001+08:00

BOTH classical Abrahamic religions and Old Atheism are forms of anthropocentric, arrogant literalism of the beneficial metaphors/illusions in human experience (cognitive adaptation). That's the pantheistic/New Atheistic view.

In celebration of my birthday, please donate to my favorite charity (see details below)

2011-05-31T17:53:00.020+08:00

Gusto mo ba makatulong ?

Kaibigan,

I need help in supporting some street children. Pasensya na at di talaga kaya ng budget ko to support their nightly accommodation. I can only accommodate 3. Nakikitulog lang naman sila at umaalis sa araw para kumain sa DSWD. Kaya kung may konting space kayo, kahit sa garahe, you can make a big difference.

To those who are willing to help, just call toll free 1-800-UNICEF-childhelp.

Salamat!!!

See photo of the street children below. It will really melt your heart.

[I remember a few years back going thru garbage mail real quick; then I had to do a double take on the above email.]

Blind faith as a beneficial illusion

2011-05-31T10:41:00.030+08:00

In some respect, this is how religion/spirituality/blind faith has a beneficial value/survivality (but of course, not all the time):

1. Cognitive adaptation

2. Specific analogy:

Check out this checker-shadow visual illusion from MIT. Or this and that and more. (Isn't psychophysics an interesting field like metaphysics and theoretical physics? To my hysterical friend, they would constitute a sics-sics-sics [666]; LOL.)

An illusion is not necessarily false (or it is relatively true). It is useful/has a survival value in certain contexts. In the same way, blind faith, whether to Allah, Jehova, Bathala, Zeus, Odin, to the trees, the volcanoes, etc., creates: a sense of well being, hope, perkiness, a flood of endorphins, close family ties, self-fulfilling prophecies of success in love and money; morality/ethics/order in society, etc.

In the strictest sense, we can say that our perception of color and time is a consensus/inescapable human/biological illusion that helps us make sense of the world (like the checker shadow, for example). It helps us thrive as a species.

So what is technically defined as an illusion in the field of psychology (in medicine, hallucination is different from illusion, but for convenience, we call them all illusions) is in a way actually an illusion that does not have a survival value; an illusion that is deviant from the consensus illusion. (In as much as we can define illusion in terms of the word "perception," e.g., illusion in psychology is a distorted perception, we can also define normal perception in terms of the word "illusion," e.g., normal perception is a consensus illusion from the vantage point of the field of cognitive adaptation.)

Hinduism (the concept of Maya) must have been correct all along on this point.

Now this soliluquy calls to mind movies like Truman Show, Matrix, and Dark City. In these movies, the protagonists are having a "distorted perception" of reality.

GOD IN, GOD OUT

2011-05-29T12:13:00.071+08:00

(This title couldn't be more provocative.)

Does God exist?

No matter how infinitely asked that question may have been, no matter how it trembles on the verge of cliché-dom, it still inspires riot.

Our answers to this, which are tethered to our biases and to the survival value they confer to us, are diverse, but ultimately, deep inside, they're the same.

The same, because we do hope that the future is rich in understanding that will have our disparate starting points collectively coming full circle (to the same, same thing, which, unfortunately, I do not know at this time. We can only hope it can avert cyclical idiocy and bloodshed).

I strongly believe we are ultimately on the same side, though for the time being, we seem not.

Whew. Well, does God exist?

I. Randomness & indeterminism = nonrandomness & determinism

For starters, let’s talk about randomness for a while. The concept of randomness is used to help tease out the statistical (not absolute) truths in experiments (in a process called randomization) in aid of advancing civilization. The concept of randomness is actually crude. When we don't sense any sense in an event, we deem it random. Or seemingly random. Random to our maths. To our equations.

Our very commonsensical handle on randomness would be the lack of predictability (intuition: the probability that a dice will roll one face is random; you can't predict it). Even in the hardcore sciences of chance and probability, statistics, mathematics, entropy, game theory, information theory, and quantum mechanics, the same connotation applies (though these disciplines define randomness in a very specific way).

And yet, what is random on one level and from one perspective is probably not random at all on another/from another.

You know what I'm getting at: What is random on the human scale of things (our calculations, models, simulations) is probably not random on the mega-scale of the universe.

What looks like unpredictable to our sharpest of human mental faculties and to our sciences and technologies (based on the laws we've discovered so far) may actually be predictable at some humongously profound, fantastic level, only that we still have not got a handle on it yet.

As an illustration, look at time. We, humans, think of 1 million years as a very, very long time, but on the scale of the universe, it’s just a blip.

Look at distance. We think of light-years as a humanly impossible distance, but on the scale of the universe, it’s just around the corner.

Look at weather. What would look like a case of indeterminism is probably deterministic, only that we haven't got any idea on how to render it deterministic.

Look at dark matter, dark flow, and dark energy. They signify we are groping in the dark. To the physical laws yet undiscovered, what darkness are we talking about?

Look at the concept of infinity in mathematics that keeps destroying our best equations, and keeps us from coming up with a plausible theory of everything. To the universe, what infinity are we talking about?

Bottom line: what is complex to us is actually simple. (I remember reading The Collapse of Chaos by Jack Cohen and Ian Stewart - it plumbs complexity and chaos theories to state the simplicity in all that complexity.)

Or -- isn't that maybe the physical laws have set a limit on the human brain (e.g., have created the human brain) in such a way that the human brain will forever perceive some actual deterministic, nonrandom events as non-deterministic and random? In that case, poor us. (Maybe this is so to prevent us from achieving a type of technology that can destroy the universe or its physical laws).

Here is a thought experiment. Consider a box the size of the universe. Consider a specific point of space inside the box; let’s name this point as humanity. Now if you shake the box with a marble inside, the marble will appear randomly moving from humanity’s standpoint. The marble will probably hit point humanity with some small probability.

In contrast, the box couldn't care less. Random as it may appear to humanity, the marble's movement is contained in the box and the probability that it is inside the box is 1 or 100%!

So to recap, a thing that looks like random on the human scale of things and understanding, may not be random on the scale of the universe -- that is, from the vantage point of its physical laws.

By saying "nonrandom," everything in the universe behaves or is contained within the bounds of the universe’s physical laws.

II. Probability [intelligent life] = 100%

How is randomness related to our discussion? Some imporant events in the universe are considered by some as random and existent by chance. Not at all. For example, contrary to that view, the laws of the universe are such that they allow intelligent life to exist in absolute terms. At the scale of the universe, the existence of intelligent life is not random and non-deterministic at all. It is inevitable. The probability for its existence is 100% (well, at least at this point in time).

[The mathematician Amir Aczel, using the conjectural Drake equation, even went on to say that the probability of intelligent life on another planet is likely 1 or 100%! That is, there must be at least another one intelligent life form out there. This is in spite of the Fermi Paradox ("If that's true, where is everyone?" - LOL; nice one, Enrico).]

III. Intelligence and consciousness as properties of the universe

Intelligence and consciousness, or at least the best definitions of them that we humans have come up with at this point of time, are the inherent properties of the universe (think anthropic principle; think biocentric theory).

Sure, some forms of intelligence and consciousness at some level are not yet understood by us. Even by the time we understand human intelligence and consciousness to the fullest, we may still be way, way far from grokking what really intelligence and consciousness are all about beyond the human point of view. In that case, the assumptions we have about intelligence, as inherent in the equations such as Drake's, are weak.

Just the same, intelligenceconsciousness is an innate property of the universe.

IV. Unconscious metaphorization and theoretical physics

Now observe. These physical laws, many of them not understood or even misunderstood by humanity, create phenomena that are awe-inspiring, whether life-giving/supporting or life-destroying. Awe-inspiring to the point that most of humanity would give classical god-like attributes to the physical laws.

And this has been so, because human intelligence and consciousness has a tendency to unconsciously metaphorize the ungrokkable physical laws in our attempt to personally relate to them (“they are human in behavior; I can relate to that”).

While outright unconscious metaphorization, which has spawned religions, is crude in some way, it helps us achieve a sense of things. Both unconscious metaphorization and theoretical physics have survival values and attempts at closure appropriate to their time and contexts. Unconscious metaphorization is similar to the darkness of dark matter and dark energy in theoretical physics (e.g., we are groping in the dark about them; they are unobservable; hence, we give them names). Many things are without hard evidence. May things are agreed by i-get-you’s.

But theoretical physics is, to my mind, better in that it acknowledges that its assertions are theoretical, conjectural and, if validated by our human devices, only approximate. In addition, it is dynamic and particular. In contrast, religion, unconscious metaphorization, and spirituality are all static: the truth is general and rigid; a monolith; it has been that way for eons.

However, no matter how crude it may be, unconscious metaphorization is one of humanity’s survival/coping mechanisms. Proof: many religions in the ancient world and today serve their environments in a positive way. Blind faith in something true or false, regardless of whether it is monotheistic, polytheistic, atheistic (e.g., Buddhism) does make sense.

It allows meditation, trance, and peace of mind. It floods people with endorphins. It encourages positive thinking, and creates advantageous self-fulfilling prophecies of success in love and money. It reinforces morality and ethics. Blind faith is correlated well with positive things across most if not all religions. (The challenge is for theoretical physics to match that -- well, theoretical physics does.)

And yet, like all things human, unconscious metaphorization (blind faith) polarizes people. It is condescending. It has spawned a great deal of violence and resentment among the many of us.

V. The God of Einstein and Spinoza

To me, a better form of metaphorization is the abstract, philosophical, and impersonal god of Einstein and Spinoza. To them, “god” is nature itself: the universe as a whole and its physical laws, not some Odin, Zeus, Shiva, Jehova or Angel Locsin . But hey, in fact, I think Zen Buddhism holds the same view!

Because of the behavior (what a metaphor for a term) of the physical laws, manifest in the cause and effect of things, they can be actually be god-like. Isn’t it ironic?

I may detest the classical definition of god, but I am now using this old metaphor to metaphorize and express our present metaphor. The difference between the old metaphor and our new metaphor is that this time, we are conscious that it’s only a metaphor – the literal metaphorical figure of speech.

Okey, now. Here is an Illustration on the evolution of the meaning of god for our purpose:

1. OLD/CLASSICAL METAPHOR/OLD CONCEPT OF GOD: the laws of nature unconsciously metaphorized (e.g., blind faith) as a god concept with human/anthromorphic or animal features - usually an omnipotent omniscient conceited male/royal figure and his posse.

2. Mistaking a class IV civilization (e.g., highly advanced aliens) for the old metaphor. Meaning, unconsciously metaphorzing these aliens as an omnipotent, omniscient male king-like figure, etc.

3. Consciously metaphorizing a class IV civilization as a god (in the same way that we say that Michael Jordan is a god; of course, we know that MJ is not a god but we adore him; hence, the figure of speech.)

4. CONSCIOUS METAPHOR/NEW CONCEPT OF GOD: laws of nature consciously and deliberately metaphorized (with a wink in our eyes) as an old god concept as if almost in a parody; but deep inside, seriously deconstructing/redefining god as the universe itself and its physical laws.

This new metaphor is what the god of Einstein and Spinoza is all about: taken as a whole, the physical laws do behave god-like and even quasi/meta-intelligent and quasi/meta-conscious – quasi/meta-intelligent in the sense that they are info-driven, info-intensive, complete with processing power (similar to info-driven chromosomes! Heck, similar to the human brain itself!); quasi and meta to the extent that we define A.I. in science fiction as such.

VI. Anthropocentrism: fail

But saying that the universe is meta or quasi is, of course, anthropocentric. At the macro level of the universe, the quasi-intelligent, quasi-conscious aspect to the physical laws may be actually intelligent and conscious not in an anthropocentric way that our puny anthropocentric brains can anthropocentrically muster at this point in time.

Anthropocentrism is a curious subject. Both God advocates and atheists can be accused of anthropocentrism and bias. Both opposing sides of classical intelligent design and atheism are anthropocentric/biased. They smack of arrogant certainty in their arguments.

Biased: "I can't just believe that this life of ours did not come out of some intelligent design [intelligence here is classically, anthropocentrically defined]."

Biased: "I can't believe that life came out of intelligent design [intelligence here is classically, anthropocentrically defined]."

Both positions can be reconciled if intelligence is re-defined.

From the perspective of the still not understood intelligence of the universe, human intelligence and consciousness might turn out to be the ones that are quasi and meta. That is, it could have been a case of a major reverse metaphor all along! Our brains might actually be a crude metaphor of the universe's. The universe creating meta-consciousness in its own image! Our meta-consciousness just an extension of the universe.

But alas, we don’t understand much the universe and its physical laws.

Who knows where the progress of our god concepts will take us: from unconscious metaphorization (blind faith) to conscious metaphors (bordering on parody, using the old concept of god) to genuine total de-metaphorization in the remote future – the deliberate, sincere, evidence-based and true equating of physical laws (many of which will be discovered in the future) to a new, less anthropocentric, less arrogant, anti-classical definition of godliness.

By then, we’d be coming full circle. By then, we’d be a grade IV civilization. By then we’d be called post-humanity -- gods ourselves. Or not.

VII. So, does God exist?

Or in other words, do I believe in God?

Yes and no.

NO, not in a jealous, ego-centric, literally male god who is so conceited he requires daily worship and devotion (otherwise, say hello to fire and brimstone).

NO, not in an unconscious metaphor.

But YES, in the god of Einstein and Spinoza. Yes, in the new metaphor.

YES, maybe in our patrons, those quasi-gods if they exist and are higly advanced: those goddamned aliens, who are conceited or not, or morally ascendant or not; who, by virtue of being a class IV civilization, have god-like attributes and thus are worthy of our regard; who were able to create us IF that might the case be (in the same way that we, eventually as post-humanity, will create robots in our own image, e.g., cylons); who might want to destroy us if we become too powerful for comfort.

Yes, in Dudeism (thanks, Mogli for converting me to this!). 

Yes, in that we are all in the same boat.

And maybe yes, for peace, love, tolerance and the better side of culture and tradition. We do not aim to ram our positions down people’s throats and come across as ranting bigots (like the bigots of religions, the atheist Richard Dawkins is too arrogant and too militant). Otherwise, it would be a boring world littered with people with the same belief. The virtue of crop or species diversity applies to human thinking.

Echus!

Bucket Lists in the Time of Armageddon

2011-05-22T12:46:00.002+08:00

It’s supposedly the Armageddon, sortof, in America right now. Or Day 1, Year 1, AA* around here. :)

No other time could be more perfect to talk about bucket lists. Japan's recent apocalyptic triple whammy means that thinking up our ideal top ten must-do's must be vogueish.

Ah, bucket lists, missions, and goals. They give meaning to our existence, not just a clear straight line to the grave.

And yet, most missions are never complete. Nor every bucket list item is ever ticked.

That’s because keeping up with the Joneses (now reincarnated as Facebook envy) and the barrage of ads (power of suggestion) render such lists seemingly incomplete (“I want that, too.”), impractical, and a source of disillusionment.

Moreover, the forces of nature might just torpedo them all in one go.

Listen. Vacation plans can get totaled by an Ondoy. Grand designs can be imploded by an Al Qaeda jet. A view of the Boracay sunset can get inundated by a tsunami.

The dream/dream car shattered by an oncoming truck in the headlights. The booty call ruined by a patient’s call. The next one exploded by a meteor on impact.

Then, the mass extinction of happiness can ensue.

So what lists are we talking about when every moment is Armageddon material? Haha!

The urge to list needs to be cured by our appreciation of things as they are and as they come. I.e., seeing the sunnier side to the epic fail, and the poetry in the mundane.

Heck, I can channel Boracay vibes in the disgusting heat of the concrete jungle. I can eat isaw and bihod and call them offal and caviar.

Call them what you may -- defense mechanisms or rationalizations or what-have-you.

To me, it’s just going Zen on your asses.

Now compile them and voila, you have a retrospective spur-of-the-moment top ten.

One time, my white shirt caught a nasty stain, a stain not unlike some sort of end-of-days rust.

I said holy s#!+ but I was fine, noting it’s nothing compared with losing one’s wallet to pickpockets.

I still went on to pay courtesy call on some medical society bigwig.

Then, five days ago, kaboom, my wallet got stolen. That wallet was a gift from my brother.

Now I have to say oh that’s nothing. People die of hunger in Africa. (Argh.)

See? Events torpedo epic lists.

_____________________________________________________
*AA = After Armageddon

(PS. Dear Gay, maybe I really don’t think too much of top tens, since I already won Time’s Person of the Year in 2006, remember?)

Familiarity breeds --

2011-05-20T12:22:00.000+08:00

a) contempt?

b) expectations? or

c) children?

Choose the best answer.

One more day to Armageddon

2011-05-20T12:16:00.001+08:00

For the win!

Group offers Rapture Relief Fund which they will use "to help survivors of any Armageddon-sized disaster..."

Overweight patient: Doc, why do fat people lumber?

2011-05-20T12:02:00.000+08:00

Thought bubble: You see, if only overweight people were composed of overweight atoms, they would be as nimble as lean people.

Unfortunately, lean or fat, we are made of the same atoms, and we follow the square-cube law. Hence, fat people lumber. lol

For dieters, here's my suggestion.

Here's another suggestion for you -- from Wikipedia's Square-cube law:

Giant animals seen in horror movies (e.g., Godzilla) are unrealistic, as their sheer size would force them to collapse. However, it's no coincidence that the largest animals in existence today are giant aquatic animals, because the buoyancy of water negates to some extent the effects of gravity [clearly, water negates weight ~ PDI].

Effective for neck pain

2011-05-19T14:55:00.001+08:00

Press [Ctrl] + [+]/[-] a bit

FINALLY, THE LIES OF THE NATIONAL HISTORICAL INSTITUTE ON THE FIRST MASS IN THE PHIL. ARE EXPOSED

2011-05-18T11:52:00.000+08:00

What we knew all along. Sa Wikipedia nga lang --

1) "NHI is in a kind of quandary. To affirm a public lie that it wants to distance itself from but at the same time it abhors having to confess it had committed and foisted a grievous if not deliberate falsehood."

2) "The findings of the National Historical Institute is printed in full in the discussion section of the article on Ginés de Mafra at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:GinÃ©s_de_Mafra. This document has virtually been kept secret by officials of the National Historical Institute since 1998; it has proven to be an embarrassment as it is full of irrelevances, dishonesties, outright lies, and ignorances."

I like Wednesdays

2011-05-18T09:22:00.000+08:00

I like Wednesdays. I know at least three persons who are named Wednesday. (Sunday and Wednesday are the only week-day names that are not bungling, kindof, to name girls after.)

What's with Wednesdays, anyway?

Wednesdays signal Thursdays.

And we know what Thursdays are all about:

Friday = inescapable.

WHY ARE WE STILL BLOGGING? (Got my cross-hairs on the Nobel Prize)

2011-05-15T09:47:00.000+08:00

So asks The Blog Rounds (TBR) originator BoneDoc.

The time we were suddenly ported to the blogosphere, we knew that diaries were dinosaurs. Blogs weaned us off the bashful journal-keeping of school. But is blogging the new dinosaur?

Doc’s question is a rethink of the old romantic question Why do I write? In fact, once upon a TBR, it was asked as Why do I blog?

So, Why am I still at it? How apt can that get. It's the Twitter era. Let us count the ways.

But blogging is no dinosaur. It’s more like a giant panda.

At the heart of blogging for lowly mortals like us is a yearning for a voice, a conversation, a purpose. To that end, TBR is carrot.

We embraced blogging to fulfill the romance that our puny journals and letters could never provide. It's a sense that we can also write lit pieces after Don DeLillo's fashion, and, while we're at it, have an audience, too.

And yet, in the vast sea of texts, tweets, posts and microblogs that get re-twitted, re-posted and re-microblogged no end, blogs seem sooo – more-than-140-characters. Just too long for our Facebookitis and 2-nanosecond attention spans and infinitely tasked 2-bit memories.

What is then blogging’s place in our 1.5 hertz of scatterbrains now crammed with Facebooking and eyeballing?

Answer. Blogging has evolved into microblogging. As for the traditionally long essay-type ones, they said these follow Darwinian mechanics in that only the “fittest,” the most marketable, and the most interesting survive.

Answer. Meanwhile, we lowly mortals can only Facebook and eyeball so much.

Answer. And it could be much worse. For the less boring type of Homo interneticus – meaning, ehem, us busy doctors – regularly blogging in long form is a bit of a stretch. Blogging the moment has always been less urgent than the moment itself.

Answer. For example, after sawing off the ruined diabetic leg, after bringing to life the dead, after prescribing laughter to the half-dead, after the 1-month tour of duty and dropping dead, we don’t just get away from it all and hie off to, say, Sagada, only to spend a lot of time blogging in Sagada about being in Sagada. WTF. I mean, do we? Sure, a bit of microblogging here and there is forgivable. It doesn’t hurt to brag about it on your frenemy’s FB wall.

Which is like telling him/her where to target you with a uranium bomb.

Answer. On a personal level, blogging is way past its childish audience-seeking, voice-challenged ways. Alas, it remains true to the ideals of keeping a paper journal: being the antidote to downtime and the dramedies. Sometimes, it's better than being drunk.

Answer. But past the antidote, the Philippine Daily Idiot serves as the record-keeper of literature that is so ahead of its time it can only be celebrated posthumously – with a Nobel.

Answer. Who knows post-humans 1,000 years hence will find the Philippine Daily Idiot (PDI) in a time capsule or in the relic of a time-proof Google server.

Or they might even catch EM waves of PDI homing in from across the universe; you know, the waves being bounced back to earth by aliens from light-years away, who, in a Contact movie sort of way, received them from Earth, circa May 14, 2011.

Then, maybe post-humanity will adjudge PDI as – gasp – the archeological find of the millennium.

For my money. Haha!

Good morning.

A BAD CASE OF SEHENNA SANTA?

2011-05-07T14:30:00.001+08:00

I'm just seeing so many people with fading henna tattoo to pretty quite top off my day today. Wala lang.

breaking news: GIANT POSTER OF DEAD BIN LADEN TAKES OVER AL QAEDA LEADERSHIP

2011-05-06T19:43:00.000+08:00

Obama regrets releasing picture to the public

TOP FIVE QUOTES OF ALL TIME

2010-08-13T21:18:00.000+08:00

5. "Baby, baby, baby --- oohhhh." - Justin Beiberwhatever

4. "Oops." - Britney Spears

3. "Oh, my gosh." - Usher

2. "Po po po po po po po po po po po po poker face." - Lady Gaga

1. "O, ooo o, oooo oo, o oooo, o o ooo ooooo." - Beyonce Knowle

TO BE FILIPINO (and TO BE MIDDLE CLASS, AT THAT) IS BEYOND VOTING. TIME TO LET GO OF THE SHOULDA, COULDA, WOULDA

2010-05-23T18:42:00.001+08:00

eoW pFoE, MuzSTaHh?

‘La lang. I’m tired of posting tweet-like posts. So, I follow the vapor trail of postmortem analyses on the elections. And I say (or you scroll down):

File. Speaking of postmortem analyses, the arrogant critics of the political system SEE THE WHOLE THING AS MORTEM, as always. Shut up.

File. Most of these critics:

- are ARROGANT and suffer from a sense of entitlement and leaps of logic.

- are perched on their ivory towers. E.g., benign0’s claim of pedigree platform that Noynoy only has (if this is not a jocular claim); benign0 even acknowledges that Aquino will be prez, but goes on to say, in effect, Whoa, di ka pa nga presidente, dada ng dada ka na about Corona. BongV: "It’s one of those days when I can just cringe from the thought that I am a Filipino citizen." Benign0: "Can I help it if the most insightful references I could find on most matters happen to be my own?"

- some use SLOPPY LOGIC to criticize the system; this is the very same logic that reinforces the corrupt system. How inconsistent.

E.g., “The alternative to Gloria is him, who could not be corrupt; he broke no law” when “breaking no law” is the recurrent refrain among the corrupt; one must analyze with wisdom, not with the trappings of law.

E.g., “How valid are the SWS surveys when the mock polls say otherwise?” when mock polls = mockery.

E.g., “GMA corrupts and sucks; it was better with Erap” – duh.

E.g., “The existing oligarchy sucks, and Manny Villar is here to expose it” when Villar is one big rags-to-oligarchy story.

E.g., “Noynoy is an abstract construct created by the media” when all the premises they use to argue against or for some issues stem from the very same supposedly questionable media they diss.

E.g., “Monsod is wrong and I am right,” when Barcelona is wrong, too (including his grammar); a narcissist, at that. And then the sense of entitlement of Rick Barcelona is like nails grating on the blackboard.

E.g., “Most voters are really idiots” WHEN – LOOK WHO’S TALKING; ANALYZE FIRST WHY.

E.g., "Gordon, because he helped my family." -- how about others? (Well, the personal is the political.)

Most of these Aquino critics are acting as if they are Jean Grey – they defend their candidates to death as if they knew what’s in minds of the candidates; as if they are the candidates themselves.

File. MOST OF THESE CRITICS PAY LIP SERVICE TO IDEALS AND CHANGE.

THEY PRACTICE THE SYSTEM – IN THE GUISE OF CHANGE AND IDEALISM.

So entrenched are they in the system that they fail to see that it sucks; that even reflex Aquino critics fail to see how sucky the system responds to the suckiness (e.g., “You have to respect the ruling [a ruling devoid of wisdom] of the Supreme Court on midnight appointments.”)

Even topnotchers Marcos and Gibo couldn’t even tell apart what’s corrupt from what’s not.

Even a lot of our government couldn’t recognize the wisdom behind RA 6713. Even the Supreme Court, interpreter of law, couldn’t even understand the wisdom behind the law on midnight appointments, the mitigating circumstances be damned.

THEY SAY GOVERNMENT SUCKS, THEN GO ON TO PROVE HOW TRUE THE SUCKINESS IS BY BEING ELECTED INTO GOVERNMENT.

OR BY VOTING THE CORRUPT INTO THE SAME.

Now that sucks.

MAJOR EXAMPLES of lip-serving mutants #1: GMA and Marcos. They validate why choosing a leader based on intellect and track record (bragging rights) without the necessary context failed us.

Intellect wielded by the exploitative class? Common in the Third World.

Deceptive track records in the Third World? Just as endemic.

MAJOR EXAMPLES of lip-serving mutants LOL #2: A lot of acquaintances are adamant in using the criterion of intellect and track record (e.g., idealism) when choosing the presidential candidate, belittling pragmatism as short of selling one’s soul to the devil, so to speak.

AND LO AND BEHOLD, their choice of candidates at the senatorial or local level betrays a worse form of pragmatism (voting for their godfathers; voting for vote buyers), and choosing the lesser evil or voting against the purer evil. Hypocritical.

MAJOR EXAMPLES of lip-serving mutants #3: ill-disguised apologists of hypocritical values in the history of nations – Catholic Church apologists; Nixon; anti-racist propagandists who turn out to be racists; the French Revolution’s Robbespierre, etc.

MAJOR EXAMPLES of lip-serving mutants #5: It’s laudable that leftists are now participating in mainstream politics at the national level. It might be a sign of our march to maturity, however puny the march is by benign0’s standards.

But when agents of the left criticize Aquino on Hacienda Luisita, then consort with Bongbong Marcos, who maintains that his father violated no law, then I say – WTF, WTF.

One must remember that Satur Ocampo was tortured by the Marcos regime.

(Then again, in the history of nations, political parties even make hardcore porn with the devil in pursuit of supposedly honorable interests. The end justifies – yawn -- the means.)

MAJOR EXAMPLES of lip-serving mutants #6: Anonymous and not-so-anonymous apologists of hypocritical values in the blogosphere. Look at Paul Farol.

Until now, the tongue-in-cheek anonymous narcissist/blogger named Benign0 refuses to divulge his identity. It could be for security purposes. It’s plausible. It could be that, as one blogger noted, “identity in the blogosphere is not as important as the arguments that the blogger purveys.” It’s plausible. Under tyrannical regimes, anonymity promotes free flowing ideas (but cheap words and maybe false allegations, too, like that of the mad Koala bear). Joe America explained aptly the upside to anonymity.

BUT also, I cannot help but worry.

The exact motive to blog is as important as the arguments, too. If we don’t know who’s writing arrogant blogs, how can we be certain of what’s truly motivating them?

Transparency is key in social media. Ghost writers are the opposite. The biggest problem is getting found out. You run the risk of being disingenuous. It intimates that you have something to hide. – blogger Heather Sokol

History abounds well in both ill- and well-disguised apologists of hypocritical values; people who play with our minds and emotions. Shall I cite examples? Did I not before? More:

- Evangelists, especially the homophobic homo pastor named Ted Haggard, a regular customer of prostitute Mike Jones
- Rush Limbaugh on drugs
- the anonymous fake Steve Jobs outed as Daniel Lyons
- anti-prostitution crusader New York governor Eliot Spitzer, who was client no. 9 in a prostitution ring
- Laurie David on being going green while commuting between homes on a private jet
- Time magazine on environmental issues when the magazine itself is printed on not so green materials
- Miriam “I liieed!” Defensor-Santiago
- the political whore Loren Legarda
- Wikipedia pseudo-scholar writers
- Noam Chomsky on communism
- Bill Bennett who wrote a book called something “Moral Compass” but lost millions over video poker and slot machines
- athlete Marion “I am against performance-enhancing drugs” Jones,
- America (its founding fathers drafted one of the best constitutions in the world, a study on humanity and the human condition, but America went on to oppress humanity around the world.)
- the anonymous outed as Whole Foods Market founder John Mackey
- the anonymous outed as Rosemary Port
-fraternities
- Magneto

What makes benign0 and his sense of entitlement any different?

What if benign0 is Satan himself?

In that case, Satan stays, because make no mistake about it, the ranting punditry (or bigotry) notwithstanding, I agree -- the political system is corrupt. Duh.
___________________________________________________________________

File. Much as I am a voter, I am also an imperfect student of the history of this nation, an observer of facts that this nation cannot escape:

NATIONS GO THRU STAGES AND PHASES – from complete idiocy to, well, lesser idiocy – and back a wee bit. Then they lurch forward, hopefully. Or cease to exist, hopefully not. Great nations like China, France, UK, and the US are in their stages and phases.

We are in our phase, too, a phase comparable with early post-revolutionary America, for example. (Of course, the comparison is incomplete as America is altogether a different experience.)

On the other hand, our favorite arrogant utopic bloggers Benign0 and BongV urge us to ditch the emo politics of the crowd/flash dance mob mentality ASAP; demand drastic change in the hearts and mind of voters, voters who were oppressed for centuries – the very reason why corruption is so ingrained in our culture (--> voting mentality that’s also centuries in the making).

Verdict: Benign0’s call is quixotic for purposes of the recent elections (it won’t effect change on election day). But it’s good for discussion and advocacy.

File. THE BETTER ALTERNATIVE TO QUIXOTIC CHANGE IS TO MCGYVER OUR WAY IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.

File. One possible McGyver moment is to leapfrog or pole-vault ourselves in the phases by listening to Benigno and BongV. Joke lang.

Benign0 and BongV’s arrogance like those of Marx, Mao and Lenin, are fringe. They are unrealistic on the ground (the ground being = centuries of oppression; small middle class; oligarchy’s hold on the media, etc.).

It is only plausible as a position (not the solution) if in the sense that it represents a countervailing force in the plurality of voices.

Benign0 and BongV’s existence is necessary. Without them gloating with a false sense of entitlement, the sloppy logic of other people, who are also gloating with a false sense of entitlement/believe sa sarili, will go unchecked.

BUT FRINGE IDEAS = NOT A MCGYVER MOMENT.

File. ANOTHER MCGYVER MOMENT IS TO STUDY THE EXAMPLES OF POLE-VAULTING AROUND US –

BY NATIONS: Post-WWII Japan and Germany; Taiwan, Singapore, Poland, etc.

BY INSPIRATIONAL LEADERSHIP: Sri Mulyani Indrwati, Lee Kuan Yew, etc.

File. A MCGYVER MOMENT IS INCREMENTAL CHANGE, NOT QUIXOTIC CHANGE, IN OUR MARCH TO BECOME A LESS IDIOTIC NATION – AGAIN, HOWEVER PUNY THIS MARCH IS.

File. GET THIS. THIS IS MY MCGYVER MOMENT: To risk choosing the winnable lesser evil presidential candidate, short of resigning to our fate on election day, in the hope of arm-twisting him to relent to the forces of change, and then – key point – to follow up on the threat of arm-twisting by BURDENING HIM WITH THE HOPES of the millions on day one and beyond (in whatever capacity/means/avenue/medium), including the blogs of benign0 and BongV.

WHY?

Ans. #0. I'd like to think of the presidency as a partnership between the president-elect and the people.

Ans. #1. There is just so much more we can do besides voting, BECAUSE TO BE FILIPINO TRANSCENDS VOTING. Voting is so much ballyhooed as one of the symbols of a democratic process, but it is by no means sacred (ok, yeah, probably sacred in a way). The elections are like Wall Street - they spawned not just the idea of voting but voting derivatives such as vote selling, vote buying, ang vote sa imo. LOL

Ans. #2. I once espoused before the positions of benign0 and bongV, but in my experiences in the workplace, in peace and war, in life and love, and in my study of history, though imperfect this study may be, it’s a no go.

No state of affairs is perfect. Life is sometimes shorter. We are given circumstances, and still, making the most of these (e.g., to McGyver our way) does not necessarily mean that if we can’t lick ‘em, join ‘em. A MCGYVER MOMENT IS A FEASIBLE WAY OUT OF THE SYSTEM, NOT MORAL SUICIDE, NOT JOINING ‘EM.

Only the corrupt twist the meaning of making the most out of a situation.

File. SO I CHOSE NOYNOY AQUINO.

Reluctant, oligarchic, maybe dumb, and with supposedly zero track record, he might brutally, blithely reinforce the status quo (ALL nations in the world are lead in some ways by oligarchs; prove to me w/c one isn’t).

But my gut feel is that Aquino has the lighter political baggage among the candidates who are most likely to lead us (look, the presidency of ideal candidate Gordon is a myth; it doesn’t exist!) -- his heaviest being the error of his kin (Hacienda Luisita; I’m betting to believe his answer that hopefully, he will make up; there are many cases of oligarchs in the world, who tried to make up and succeeded in so doing), the reluctance and the spur-of-the-moment decision to run, and the demands of heroism (in history, the children of heroes always try to live up to their parents’ memory).

AND THEN, IN COMPARATIVE ASSHOLISM, WHY RISK HAVING ERAP AS OUR PRESIDENT AGAIN, AND CREATE THE CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS TO END ALL CONSTITUTIONAL CRISES? lol

AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL: WE SHOULD REALIZE BY NOW THAT WE ARE DOOMED TO HAVE AQUINO AS OUR PRESIDENT.

Told you so. DID THE PUNDITRY AND BIGOTRY IN THE BLOGOSPHERE NOT REALIZE THIS BEFORE??? Did they not realize that their abilty to sway public opinion ("to inform the voting public”) is puny, because most of the voting public are not so into blogging? LOL

Did they not realize that there was a risk that Erap could be our president? Pseudos. DO ME A FAVOR: Research the role of surveys in the history of nations (“Surveys should not be released to the public” – but only to the few who think well? How oligarchic! What false sense of entitlement! To my mind, the surveys are like the de facto general election; the election proper itself is the de facto run-off election). Mag-aral nga kayo. Dada kayo ng dada.

Aquino detractors are CONSOLED by the fact that all of us shall burden Noynoy with expectations. The election is only a symbol, vacuous or not, at first. To prove that the symbol means something: on to the real work!

Noynoy detractors always say that they may not be able to effect change on election day (in the sense of helping their candidate win), but their actions reverberate beyond the elections. True. As I said, let’s do our part: on to the real work!

OTHERWISE, WHAT DID YOUR VOTE FOR IDEALISM MEAN, ANYWAY, IF YOU SUCK IN OTHER ASPECTS OF CITIZENSHIP AND NATION-BUILDING?

WHAT DID YOUR VOTE MEAN WHEN YOU WISH THE PREZ-ELECT BAD LUCK?

WHAT IS AN IDEAL VOTE FOR PRESIDENT IF YOU ACTUALLY VOTED FOR VOTE BUYERS AT THE LOCAL LEVEL?

WHAT IS A VOTE FOR GORDON IF YOU ALSO VOTED FOR LITO LAPID?

WHAT IS A VOTE IF YOU DON’T LET THE ELDERLY SIT FIRST ON THE MRT?

TO BE FILIPINO GOES BEYOND VOTING.

CONCLUSION: WTF

Time to read Alex Lacson’s book, pseudos.

__________________________________________________________________________

P.S. My bone to pick with arrogant critics is there is so much conflict theory in most of the way they analyze the data they cull from the media, which they paradoxically criticize. Conflict theory is like this:

It’s like a father suspecting someone who wants to date his daughter as having the ulterior motive of getting into her pants. It’s like always looking at the glass half empty, looking at the personalities as having hidden agendas.

Conflict theory is pragmatic if it serves its purpose – to unravel all the hidden agendas; to find the solution to a sticky problem.

It becomes dogmatic if it doesn’t so. It becomes dogmatic if the response is always fight-or-flight when the situation doesn’t call for it.

A better mindset analyzes the situation from both angles of conflict and structural-functional theories, and compares both vantage points.

RANTING AGAIN HAAY: The problem with Noynoy detractors

2010-05-19T21:53:00.000+08:00

The problem with Noynoy detractors is the nature of their criticism: REFLEX CRITICISM, because they see Noynoy as abnoy.

The problem with Noynoy is that he is keeping this promise this time.

Wait, what were the positions of those prez candidates on midnight appointments, during the campaign????

Villar vowed to look into Arroyo's midnight appointments.

Will future Senate President Villar be bitter? Will he spite Aquino?

Is Aquino the one creating a constitutional crisis??

2010-05-18T09:21:00.001+08:00

It's GMA! It's obvious na bawal ang midnight appointments sa batas. Gago ba sila? The Supreme Court violated its mandate.

The irony is that during his time, Pres. Diosdado Macapagal, GMA's father, also challenged the merit of midnight appointments.

Midnight cabinets, midnight appointments, etc.

GIBO AND GIBO'S AVERSION TO BLACK PROPAGANDA

2010-05-18T08:39:00.001+08:00

One more potshot at Gibo.

BLACK PROPAGANDA IS OK AS LONG AS IT’S THE TRUTH. It might show some light on the candidate’s character and his/her hidden agenda.

A simple experiment: If Zaldy Ampatuan ran for president, black propaganda against his character is justified.

Gibo’s aversion to black propaganda, although with some merit, hides the fact that he couldn’t once and for all say if Hello, Garci et al are wrong or not.

So, why not? Ans. Political survival and kiss-ass politics.

In Gibo’s presidential bid, kiss of death.

Vested interests cloud the intellect (e.g., topnotching ways).

And sticking to his strong points (talino at galing) clouds the issue.

Vote buyers didn't notice that when they handed down 500 bills, ...

2010-05-13T14:12:00.000+08:00

... these yellow Ninoy bills must have reinforced the pedigree-piggybacking of Noynoy. LOL

AT FIRST, YOU THINK IGLESIA NI CRISTO'S BLOC VOTING SUCKS

2010-05-13T13:59:00.000+08:00

BUT FROM A COLDER VANTAGE POINT, IT HAS MERIT. IN THE HISTORY OF NATIONS, MINORITIES ALWAYS TRY TO CREATE ONE VOICE IN THE NATIONAL CONVERSATION TO BE HEARD. THE BLACKS DO IT. THE JEWS DO IT. THE UNIONS DO IT. THE LEFTISTS DO IT. THE RIGHTISTS DO IT. EVEN WHOLE NATIONS ALIGN THEMSELVES TO VOTE OR ABSTAIN AS ONE IN THE FACE OF FAVORABLE OR UNFAVORABLE UNITED NATION RESOLUTIONS. GET IT!

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NOYNOY PRESIDENCY AND A GIBO/DICK/VILLAR PRESIDENCY

2010-05-13T13:23:00.000+08:00

AT THIS POINT, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NOYNOY PRESIDENCY AND A GIBO/DICK/VILLAR PRESIDENCY IS THAT THE LATTER IS LIKE SUPERMAN -- IT DOESN'T EXIST. IT CAN NEITHER BE PROVEN RIGHT NOR BE PROVEN WRONG.

NOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NOYNOY PRESIDENCY AND AN ERAP ONE? ANS. DON'T BE AN IDIOT. :)

TO PSEUDO-INTELLECTUALS AND ILL-DISGUISED APOLOGISTS OF HYPOCRITICAL VALUES, OUT THERE:

2010-05-12T14:27:00.000+08:00

IF YOU SUSPECT OTHERS OF COMMITTING PSEUDO-INTELLECTUALISM, LIES, SLOPPY LOGIC, AND VINTAGE IDIOCY, THEN DO ME A FAVOR BY NOT COUNTERING THEIR ARGUMENTS WITH YOUR BRAND OF PSEUDO-INTELLECTUALISM, LIES, SLOPPY LOGIC, AND VINTAGE IDIOCY.

IF NOYNOY DIDN'T RUN, ERAP II WOULD HAVE BEEN IN OUR FACES ... AND UP OUR ASSES.

2010-05-12T14:23:00.000+08:00

Muntikan na talaga!

HAY, U KNOW WHAT'S REALLY TAKING TIME 2 VOTE IN OUR PRECINCT? IT'S THE ARDOUS TASK OF APPLYING THE INDELIBLE INK. HERE'S THE RESULT:

2010-05-10T11:22:00.000+08:00

IS IT THE SAME WITH YOURS?

IN A PERFECT WORLD

2010-05-02T14:29:00.000+08:00

IN A PERFECT WORLD (LARGER MIDDLE CLASS; SMALLER POVERTY SPECIAL INTEREST GROUP; NO JADEDNESS; NO FAILURE OF OFT-REPEATED QUIXOTIC DREAMS IN HISTORY; A GORDON SURVEY RATING > 20%), I WOULD HAVE VOTED FOR GORDON-BAYANI. IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE. A VOTE FOR QUIXOTIC CHANGE IS ZERO CHANGE.

The downside to pre-election surveys is mind-conditioning BUT —

2010-04-25T12:20:00.000+08:00

Mind-conditioning, the accusation of Dick Gordon, has the inadvertent effect of helping force the electorate to vote between two protagonists.

Therefore, it has the effect of helping force the political forces to dichotomize, I mean, to separate into two opposing forces.

It helps force the plurality of political forces to drop the delusions of greatness.

Are you following me?

Pre-election surveys might be one of those accidental instruments to force the establishment of a two-party system.

But of course, a two-party system is artificial in a Third World setting.

Why? Read this.

Why choose Noynoy? Two reasons in plain English

2010-04-21T21:25:00.001+08:00

Lately, my friends are noting I have become a fan of Noynoy all of a sudden. No.

Why Noynoy?

1. Time is running out for the unenlightened. I am anti-Villar, and I can only practically vote against Villar by voting for Noynoy, his closest rival.

If you are voting against Villar by voting for Eddie Villanueva, that’s a statement vote but a wasted vote nonetheless. In that sense, we are doomed to suffer our Erap fate once again (because if you recall, the majority voted against Erap, but he still became the prez). If you are going to vote for Gordon whom I semi-admire, then good for you, but still, Gordon must have realized by now that he will not win it (he must be consoling himself with the fact that he is still in the minds of the people and will use it as part of long-term campaigning for other positions in the future). Voting for Gordon means insisting on something quixotic (e.g., Obama's transformational politics; quixotic because the electorate is immature and Gordon is lagging in the surveys), demanding abrupt change in the status quo when incremental change is the most important thing to do right now. You will be forgotten by history.

The urgency is starker if I ask you the question: what more could presidential immunity bring to congressional spouse, C5-earning billionaire Manny Villar if he becomes the president? His genuine success story might be a case of rising from rags to riches but it’s also a case of rising from rags to oligarchy.

2. With calculated risk and gut feel, let us now experiment with the presidential criterion of humility and sincerity at the expense of other criteria such as intellect and bragging rights (e.g., track record).

Why? We have been burned before by intellect and bragging rights (see Marcos and Gloria). Other candidates brag about their platforms of government that appeal to special interest groups, but these are puny by comparison to a platform of sincere and clean government. A sincere and clean government is revolutionary. It has never been done before.

With clean government as platform, the cliché platforms of Villar et al will all be accommodated and serviced because clean government frees up money tied to corruption.

Friends ask, isn’t every candidate part of the ruling oligarchy? Of course, we are choosing among evils. In comparative assholism, everyone is an asshole. Should I cite again and again the cliché of choosing the lesser but winnable evil/asshole? I choose the lesser asshole among the winnable oligarchs: Noynoy.

In other words, this guy, who had no ambition to become president but was forced to run by favorable circumstances, is really an absolute asshole but others are maybe far, far worse.

Guys, when we vote, we vote with our hunches, our gut feels. That's the truth. We will never vote objectively. The least we can expect of us is to vote with self-sacrifice – the sacrifice of our own motives and special interests.

The Philippine Daily Idiot predicts massive panic buying — of votes

2010-04-21T19:19:00.001+08:00

Whatever. Our Great and Glorious Nation oversimplified:

This vicious cycle cycles every nanosecond squared (1 cycle/nanosecond squared is equal to 1 unit of erap).

*See Opiate of the masses.

NOYNOY MIGHT BE AN ASSHOLE BUT I SUSPECT OTHERS TO BE PURER ASSHOLES

2010-04-18T14:59:00.000+08:00

For the fucking martyrdom, I still don’t understand why supposedly bright people still analyze a Noynoy run as simply “piggybacking on his pedigree” as put by this Benign0 blogger. What happened to their analytical skills, huh?

Pseudos!

To Benign0, Noynoy's piggybacking on his pedigree is MORE THAN just your run-of-the-mill metaphor. It is SYMBOLIC for something else bigger.

Noynoy’s run is SYMPTOMATIC of something bigger. And by bigger, I actually mean pseudo-intellectuals should LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE FROM A COLDER VANTAGE POINT.

Damn it. Look at the picture NEITHER as warrior frat boys NOR as special interest groups passing yourselves off as true nationalists!

I give you the lowdown on piggybacking, pseudos. So I ask: what the fucking fuck?

Now to answer that question succinctly, I shall rephrase it a bit: WHY IS A MAN WITHOUT MUCH TO BOAST OF BEYOND PEDIGREE IS LEADING THE FUCKING SURVEYS?

(Of course, they’d say the fucking surveys are fucked up. Mind you, surveys are part of the election culture anywhere. Seating governments use them to gauge public opinion. Credible surveys around the world have been vindicated many times over by history -- so you shut up.)

Now back to the question. So why? GOT FIVE ANSWERS, MORONS. It is has something to do with the id of the multitudes. What? You are an intellectual and you don’t know what an id is? Id is that part of the mind relating to unconscious instincts and impulses.

1. A Noynoy possibility insinuated itself into the id of the millions not by pedigree alone. It is a confluence of events. We must be dumb if it is by pedigree alone. It is pedigree AGAINST the backdraft of a Marcos dictatorship, Erap Johnny Walker sessions, Gloria Hello Garci’s and ZTE’s, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. It is nostalgia for a more romantic past (e.g., revolution).

2. It is pedigree AND Noynoy’s supposed (yeah, supposed) meekness. Noynoy didn’t have an ambition to be president. He was forced to run by favorable circumstances. He is not running just because he willed it. He is running in spite of himself. But is bashfulness a plus point? My gut feel is that meekness means fewer darker agendas. Period!

Are you having a problem with my gut feel? Do you belittle gut feel? Many belittle the concept of decision by gut feel. But gut feel is under-rated. Everyone votes by gut feel, for crying out loud! It is never true that one votes objectively.

If someone is all praises for someone, most likely that someone is her husband or frat brod, for example. See? Or co-teacher. Or boss. Or someone you thought as smart as you are, and is capable of witty replies and one-liners. Or someone who built you basketball courts and other short-term eye candies. Or someone sympathetic to your plight (e.g., you just split up with your squeeze; that someone will likely give you the post of Secretary of Department of Energy for being emo).

Gut feel is id made manifest. Gets mo?

3. It is pedigree AND the unreliability of intellect and track record as criteria for electing the prez. Now, if according to my gut feel that meekness means fewer darker agendas, does it follow that others have more darker agendas? My gut feel says, yes, quite possibly.

But what is my basis? My basis is history. In conflict theory (you know what conflict theory is?), people who have ambitions of greatness have dark agendas (read: delusions; the tendency to corrupt).

Today’s electorate are EXPERIMENTING on the presidential election criterion of meekness at the expense of other criteria to stall these delusions once and for all.

Why? I TOLD YOU TO EXAMINE HISTORY.

We have been BURNED before by swagger and star power (Erap was a waste; he squandered his mandate).

We have been BURNED before by our decisions based on the criterion of intellect (Marcos, Gloria, and their PhDs and LLDs and top-notching ways).

It turns out that the ruling class has been masquerading its exploitative skills with the trappings of intellectual credentials (for who can afford going to the best universities but the ruling class?).

If intellect is the supreme criterion, we might as well vote Marcos and GMA back to office. (And I might as well run for prez. LOL.)

4. It is pedigree AND the burden of pedigree. Noynoy is answerable to the memory of his parents and to the hopes of the multitudes, who hanker to the romantic past, and who ennoble his parents. A comparison can be made to Obama’s winning the Nobel Peace Prize. He has never done anything yet in terms of world peace, but he fired up the world’s imagination, and the world is watching him out in return. That’s the line of reasoning the Nobel Prize judges ascribed to.

5. See this post.

Draw your own conclusions.

3 MED JUNIOR INTERNS KILLED IN FIRE. Indeed, altogether now -- life is short.

2010-02-09T15:42:00.000+08:00

This I know. Listen. We'd been to that place. If the 3 medical studes who died in the fire maintained presence of mind, they would have covered themselves in a soaked blanket and jumped over from the nearest escape, the lacerations and fractures be damned, fire exit or no fire exit.

So much for the what-if.

IS VOTING AGAINST A CANDIDATE A WASTED VOTE? + +

2010-02-09T12:44:00.000+08:00

T H E R E are so many ways that a vote can be deemed wasted or not.

WHAT'S a wasted one? What's not?

I KNOW that (as opposed to a vote for auction/special-interest vote/utang na loob vote -- all obviously wasted) a vote has the power to become symbolically rightfully righteous, come hell or high water. That is, regardless of election outcome or doom.

So maybe such vote is not wasted at all.

OR IS IT?

I mean, will a righteous vote be wasted IN THE SENSE that it will not influence the election outcome nor will it effect societal change (naks)?

FIRST OFF, let us thresh out what a righteous vote is. However subjective, THERE ARE TWO non-exclusive TYPES OF SUCH VOTE.

ONE is you exercise the right to vote FOR SOMEONE.

The SECOND type is the one easily missed -- you vote AGAINST SOMEONE. Elections are not just about voting for a personality or a platform of gov't. It is also about voting against the same. Let us not discriminate against such type of voting, which I do often. :)

FOR EXAMPLE, a vote against Erap. In retrospect, from a statistical vantage point, it was a wasted forgotten plural "against Erap" vote.

WASTED because in a plurality of candidates, a vote against someone was watered down by plurality.

FORGOTTEN because history will not celebrate it.

IT IS IRONIC THAT THE MAJORITY OF VOTERS (e.g., the plurality of minority voters) VOTED AGAINST ERAP AND STILL, HE BECAME THE PRESIDENT. The majority of voters didn't effect change! (Read: Fail! Wasted!)

That being said, righteous minority voters tend to be relegated to postmortem what-if analyses.

Just like what I am doing right now (e.g., righteous, naks).

A righteous vote has this non-special-interest, for-the-greater-good "See I told you so!" schticks to it.

HOWEVER, HERE'S THE CLINCHER:

IT IS POSSIBLE for a symbolically righteous vote against a popular but EVIL candidate to become a TACTICALLY righteous vote IF SUCH VOTE GOES TO HIS/HER CLOSEST RIVAL, given the most scientific data available.

IN OTHER WORDS, my vote against billions-spending, C5-insertion-guilty-by-absentia, land-grabbing congressional spouse Manny Villar and his LSS spin doctors (sus, R.O.I. at dynasty na, di pa nga to presidente!!!) only becomes practically and tactically righteous IF I vote for his closest rival and fellow (but lesser) evil Noynoy and his Hacienda Luisita. The key phrase here is closest rival.

On the other hand, voting against Villar by voting for bottom-wrung Vetallano Acosta = TOTALLY wasted vote.

Righteous votes against evil need not be mere empty symbols. They should effect change.

Now. Or on election day, for that matter. You get the idea.

LET US EXERCISE AND CELEBRATE OUR RIGHT TO VOTE AGAINST.

Draw your own conclusions.

twitter-like post before the big one :-)

2009-09-21T20:41:00.000+08:00

BEEN JADED AND ALL BUT I'M HEDGING MY OBAMA MOMENT ON NOYNOY. (and still, hello, hacienda luisita.)

http://twitter.com/d_real_melbel1

in search of the perfect flash drive

2009-09-10T21:33:00.000+08:00

By perfect, I mean resistance to violence, war, famine, pestilence, nuclear detonation. (God, no sensible post yet in my busy, busy life.)

And yes, in my busy, busy life (w/c is short of a nuclear detonation area, sortof, right now), I am a recidivist when it comes to misplacing thumb drives. At times, I commit them to accidental total destruction.

Ah what fun! It is not fun.

So the point is, I'm looking for that shock-proof, water-proof drive. Here are the 5 short-listed ones:

1. Super Talent 's pico drives:

Verdict: Pico-sized, duh. Can insert them in tight spots like your wallet. But will easily get lost in many places - not excluding bodily orifices (sometimes a flash drive is just a flash drive, damnit). :D

2. Lacie's iamaKey, itsaKey, and PassKey:

Verdict: Key-sized, duh. Woot.

3. Pretec's i-Disk:

Verdict: Bullet-proof. For the James Bond types.

4. The IronKey:

Verdict: Military-grade hardware encryption. Will self-destruct a la Mission Impossible. Nah, I won't have it self-destruct for just some stolen private videos. :-)

5. And last but not the least, the IronDrive:

Verdict: Get ready for this --> resistant to nuclear explosion. Kaboom. But with that size, I won't schlepp it around. Plus, it's least likely that I will have Dear Leader Kim Jong Il for an enemy.

Hey, WAIT FOR MY OVERALL VERDICT: Got the Lacie iamaKey, man! It has theAdvantage ofBeing locallyAvailable. Ayos!

BULK FILLER POST IN A TWITTING WORLD: PRETTY WINGS BY MAXWELL

2009-08-21T16:41:00.000+08:00

Gosh as for you, babe, I love the way your hair blazes in the sun fiber by fiber.

I'll be back.

NEVER TOO LATE TO SAY, YOU'LL NEVER MOONWALK ALONE, MICHAEL (how to be a michael jackson fan in 4 steps)

2009-07-08T20:43:00.000+08:00

A bit of personal memorial to the King of Pop.

In the 8o's, it was de riguer to ape Michael Jackson. I did. (Betcha you didn't know he also had the so called earthwalk, w/c is the forward moonwalk. )

Zoom to the present and Michael is still Michael despite the inevitable false tabloid Wacko Jacko image. Maybe a lot of these so-called millennials (that I think is how the youngish generation is called today, as opposed to Gen X or Gen Y) have that false sense.

Then baam, Michael died, and the uninitiated millenials and those living under a rock and the rest of the world are becoming fans by the femtosecond squared.

Here are the four easy steps to be a fan: First, watch clip # 1. Second, watch clip # 2. Third, watch clip #3. Lastly, watch clip # 4. :D The clips are below:

----------------------------

1. On the stage, no one, as in no one, can be as emotionally powerful as His Majesty. Shy, awkward, and socially inept -- a tortured soul -- he compensated by living the stage.

2. The Free Willy song. This, too, is exponentially tops.

3. Smoooooth Criminal, what else!

4. Military precision in Dangerous. Kaboom!

It's time to do the heavenwalk, Michael.

We'll be moonwalking here in the millions. :'(

THE TRANSFORMERS PART 2 IS COMING! (what i wrote 2 yrs ago re. tranformers part 1)

2009-06-21T13:38:00.000+08:00

GATEWAY ---- Aw, what timing!!!!! It's raining cats and dogs outside -- so that after watching Transformers the movie, I'd say, it's raining Transformers outside – or rather, there's an ongoing massive WWF-style smackdown outside.

Yawards! Metaphor watching is a rare diversion I do nowadays. I'm tired of being the failed future mock boards topnotcher has-been at the Gateway Food Court Review Center. Do you follow me? LOL.

Just a wannabe critique: Transformers the movie was OK. As a 1980s child, I'm familiar with the Transformers saga -- for example, they transform. Hehehe. This cartoon series is lucky in that today, CGI is so high-tech it can render unrealistic robots real. This movie barraged me with smooth berserker CGI sprinkled with the usual humor brought about by Shea whowasit and that Turtorro guy, who, as the sector 7 agent, was so funny in his well, funny underwear.

But this '80s child also grew up. I expected more. I was hoping this movie would be directed by the Wachowski brothers of the Matrix and V for Vendetta fame. Compared with all-actions Michael Bay, the Wachowskis have this rare gift of combining good story, deep mythos, and breakthrough action.

So my beef with Mr. Bay is that his movie lacked some serious destruction, insurrection, and resurrection. Plus some serious emotional wretching (the humor can be dealt with). His movie is doomed to be compared with benchmark scifi movies like the Matrix. Or not.

So Bay's Transformers suffers from not having any breakthrough except that it's just some Exhibit A for the capabilities of George Lucas' Industrial Light and Magic. It is, in other words, shallow. Hanky-panky, in fact. Ngek.

Sayang na hinde na explore yung idea of a mythos based on NBEs (non-biological extraterrestrials), which could have been explored well by the Wachowskis (obvious ba?). Like you know, I really think that there's life out there and it doesn't have to be based on scaffolds of carbon molecules. Any right environment via natural or artificial selection will lead to ETs, NBE or no NBE. : )

On the other hand, while the Wachowskis aimed to overhaul cinema, Bay has some other mundane agenda probably tied to the Hasbro company, which owns the Transformer brand. And this can be deemed from the fact that there's no single cussword uttered in this movie, syet. Bay is just trying to reach out across audience lines to tiny babies (LOL) so that everyone will have a good time and he will more than recoup production cost in the process. This is aside from boosting sales of Transformer merchandise.

So what? Hey, Mr. Bay, you are insulting the power inner child in each and every '80s child out there. This one included.

Verdict: Lotsa formulaic Bay-style slambang and robots chewing the scenery. No innovative action pieces. Saved by comedic timing.

WHY WE FILIPNOS DON'T WRITE THAT MANY NOVELS

2009-06-21T12:51:00.000+08:00

Butch Dalisay, a UP creative writing professor, once offered reasons in his column in the Philippine Star why Filipinos don't write that many novels. My conclusion is that it doesn't take a PhD (maybe an MD hehehe) to answer why.

Here's my take (I actually commented on his blog). The reason why the contemporary Filipino novel is either in constant turnaround or kindof lurks in the shadow of say, a Rizal novel, is that most Filipino novelists today fit only a narrow stereotype of someone who's part of the academe, someone writing for writing's sake.

Reading an F. Sionel Jose feels as if it's required reading in Lit 101. It's so Lit 101. There's always a sense of believing that the Filipino novel is always a literary novel comparable to those published by Penguin, a highbrowed concept.

It is worsened by the fact that a novel as a literary form is, by definition, long -- in fact, universally too long for everyone's attention span, not just the Pinoy's attention span. A novel can only be successful if it connects to a larger audience. And we are talking here about that small audience of English-reading Filipinos.

Then it gets worse: English novel readers are only a tiny subset of English-reading Pinoys, too small to support the concept of a Filipino novel. Then here's the worst: The average English novel reader who is Pinoy, like most English novel readers around the world, will only buy a novel that's cool, a novel with cool characters, a novel that's well researched. In that sense, writing a novel requires more than just laziness masquerading as what the UP professor called "a largeness of vison" -- more than just being holed up in a mountain resort. It's more about research, a clinical feel of what's going on, a conversation here and there, and an ear for the nuanced idioms of the internet-savvy novel reader. That is, if you agree with me that the novel is more than just a literary Penguin-type novel.

What fits the literate Pinoy's idea of a novel is the American Novel. It ranges from, more or less, a Tom Clancy, a Neil Gaiman, a Don deLillo, and the da Vinci Code to the Notebook and the chic lit types, among others. There is one pattern in the great American novel: It is well researched (keyword: well researched; say it again: well researched), and the process of writing it is essentially democraticized; meaning, it is not only written by academic types but by people who pursue other interests, those who really have stories to tell -- not contrived stories. When a scandalous White House intern will write a novel, that novel could be interesting.

So why read a Pinoy novel when you have something that's more interesting? I don't want an F. Sionel Jose that will most likely lie around the house and gather dust like A Brief History of Our Time.

But our CURSE is that, in the first place, we just happen to enjoy the English language. And then, it also happens that the American novel is well researched and is written in -- English.* It's a curse that our Pinoy novelists will have to contend with (it's maybe related to colonial mentality but that's another story; the Greeks and the Scandinavians suffer from the same malady -- they prefer to write in English). But more than anything else, we are stuck with the old, un-diversified idea of the novel: the literary novel written by academic types. Now, don't force me to read those Tagalog or Bisaya or Hiligaynon novels. Ang hirap talaga basahin except yung mga mala-Sweet-Valley-High na tagalog.

*Thus, Pinoy writers are relegated to write short fiction and non-fiction. Ganun din ata ang nangyayari sa movie industry natin. Instead of competing head-on with Hollywood, they opted to find niches in soap operas, sitcoms, game shows, noon variety shows, etc. Latin America does the same with its soaps.

notes on antioxidants

2009-06-21T12:02:00.000+08:00

Who would not be interested in anti-oxidants? Not that I'm popping pills in the kitchen. I'm just being inundated by questions about the efficacy of glutathione– in two fronts: its vaunted antioxidant properties and its whitening effect. But if you really want to know about it, umm go Google it.

Now there's something about it that's difficult to Google:

1.My first encounter with Glutathione was possibly ten years back. I came across an article about the potential of glutathione as tops among these so-called antioxidants and there was never mention of the whitening effect. And lo and behold, I'm surprised glutathione today has become a skin-bleacher industry in itself.

2.The good thing about this hoopla about antioxidants is that they're actually ok. I mean, it's always nice to heed the cliché: An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. In other words, the health-conscious, wary of diseases, take every measure to prevent diseases from happening in them. And although prevention is much more multi-dimensional ranging from behavior modification to making environmental laws, antioxidants as food supplements take the emotional centerstage in disease prevention as proven by the fact that they have grown into a multi-billion-dollar industry (don't bet your phone on my math).

3. Here lies the contradiction. They may not be good at all. While these supplements are touted as panacea by anecdotal evidence, their labels would say otherwise: No proven therapeutic claims. Kinagwang. (And worse, they're expensive! Whatever happened to the notion that prevention is cheaper than cure?)

4.(In that case, supplements can actually rival another set of unsure entities: subatomic particles. Hehe. According to quantum mechanics, we can never be sure where exactly they are --- or probably they are not particles at all but waves of energy. Same with supplements. Hehe!)

5. It's true that some food supplements actually have therapeutic effects as proven by some of them eventually graduating to drug status (by way of scientists isolating from them the active ingredients and testing these in rigorous clinical trials).(Now I really don't know what happened to Lorenzo's oil; whether it became a drug or not, I don't know – or Google it.)

6. The truth is that there is more to the “No proven therapeutic claim” label. Companies have to use it so as not to earn the ire of BFAD, FDA and their conspirator Big Parma or to avoid litigation arising from false claims in the advertisements, for example. Technically, only drugs have therapeutic effects.

7. “No therapeutic claim” actually means “no scientific proof,” "no clinical trials to back it up, which is altogether different from anecdotal evidence.

8. Now, the question is: As food supplements, are they effective? Sorry to burst your bubble but recent researches are equivocal, providing answers bordering on “probably they're not; probably they are.”

9. I could surmise why so. Again, prevention is multi-faceted. Taking tons of supplements but failing horribly in other areas of prevention will surely go for naught. You know, you continue to smoke and drink; you live in a polluted area or in the dirtiest part of the Third World or in Iraq; you are suicidal; your diet is unhealthy; you are always stressed out; your job is being ... the Crocodile Hunter; etc. (But it doesn't hurt to try as long as you don't hurt other people, hehehe!)

10. And... THE BEST PREDICTOR OF LONGEVITY is genetics, of course. If you fail horribly in this area (e.g., relatives die young from the likes of breast cancer, colon cancer, etc), sorry. For starters, go ask around how long your ancestors had lived. As for me, I usually prescribe good genes to my patients for good health. Hehehe. Ha, if only you can choose your biological parents. Don't laugh now. Prescribing good genes to patients may sound funny but technology is catching up (e.g., gene therapy).

11. As for glutathione, I think its whitening effect is not just a side effect. I haven't verified this in literature: Melanin, the skin's brown pigment, is actually a free radical! But it's not your typical free radical because it's more stable -- its unstable part is stereo-hidden in a pocket (don't mind the jargon) – it can actually persist for years or possibly more so. But because it's a free radical, I feel like suspecting (despite the popular notion) it is countered by glutathione. (As an analogy, glass is technically a liquid but because it flows slowly, it feels as if it's a solid.)

12. For the record, free radicals are good for health in some important ways. Didn't you know that the oxygen we breath is a free radical and hence a poison?. It can even give rise to more potent free radicals.

13. This is the reason why some forms of living things avoid oxygen at all cost -- they die in the presence of oxygen. Examples are the bacteria called anaerobes. Some humans like Usain Bolt avoid oxygen to achieve results such as winning 100-meter dashes. Short bursts of vigorous activity are done w/o the use of oxygen.

14. However, in the long run, it would be to our advantage as a species to use oxygen rather than avoid it. Why? It's all around us; it participates in oxidative reactions that give us a lot of energy. Outside our bodies, it participates in combustion or burning (heat and light energy) that makes our food palatable. And you - the arsonist that you are - can opt to use combustion to collect blood debts. Hehehe.

15. Inside our bodies, oxygen takes part in something similar to combustion, which goes by the name of oxidative phosphorylation. It liberates a lot of energy (chemical energy) in the form of ATP, which we use to fuel our thinking, movements, heartbeats, emotions, genocides, etc. Also, oxygen is used by white blood cells to kill germs that invade our bodies.

16. But in the process, a lot of more potent free radicals are produced. Clearly, oxygen is bad but we need it to live. How paradoxical can you get. Hence our bodies have developed mechanisms to counter these free radicals in the form of enzymes systems and antioxidants blah blah blah blah blah.

The end. Whew.

17. Las hirit/CLIMAX of this post. Some supplements are actually a-ok. Some are not. Don't let the official label "NO PROVEN THERAPEUTIC CLAIMS" drive you to the conclusion that all food supplements are faddish and have no therapeutic effects. The point is, ask a very good doctor w/ no business interests/bias ( warning: a lot of doctors have) and do your research. My last word is this:

We all agree that bananas, carrots, fiber, blah, and all vegetables are good for our health. How come the BFAD and FDA do not require them to be marketed with the label "NO PROVEN therapeutic effects"? Simple. They are food, not food supplements. They don't require clinical trials because our millions of years of evolution w/ them serve as the clinical trial.

Food supplements should be similar, except that they are extracted and processed and thus are much more prone to be politicized because of unscrupulous and evil exploiters and quacks and fake healers, who claim wonder effects. The "no proven effects" originally implies that there are no clinical trials to back up such claims and means to protect consumers from these evil businessmen.

ANYHOW, remember, food supplements primarily exist because most of us are busy and want to bypass the tedium of eating the correct amount of food as recommneded by nutritionists (usually a lot and on a daily basis).

doc, ba't kelangan pa ng antibiotic ointment ang sugat ko sa paa? di ba tama na yung betadine?

2009-06-21T11:21:00.000+08:00

Both Betadine and antibiotic kill bacteria.

Pero mas iba ang Betadine sa antibiotic. Ganito kasi yan. Gawa ako ng analogy tungkol sa Betadine. The problem with Betadine is that it is similar to an insecticide in some sense.

So in what sense? Insecticides (insect + cide = insect killer) aren't specific for insects. It can kill other organisms, too -- humans, in particular. Hence, insecticides are, in effect, homicidal, hehehe (homo + cidal = man killer).

Suicidals (sui + cidal = self killer) commonly take insecticides, maybe because they are depressed & mistake themselves for lowly insects, haha. Also,you can use insecticides to kill many people (geno + cide = tribe killer; mass killing) but you're better off using Sarin gas siguro. :-)

So what? Ang Betadine ay parang insecticide nga. Hinde sya specific for bacteria. It kills bacteria but it kills living tissue, too. (Besides, irritating siya sa skin.) So yung sugat mo, if Betadine stays there for a long time, mamatay ang mga tissue dun na immediately near sa sugat. Sa med jargon pa, the tissue becomes devitalized. Naks.

SO anong maidudulot ng divitalization ng tissue? Una, mabagal magheal ang sugat. Second, it scars and discolors your Body by Belo. Pangatlo, ang devitalized tissue ay nagbibigay ng sanctuary o shelter para sa mga mikrobyo laban sa Betadine o antibiotic. Mas lalong 'di magheal ang sugat; magkakomplikasyon pa. O di ba.

IN CONTRAST (syempre English na), antibiotics are specific for bacteria. Many of these antibiotics are bactericidal (bacteria + cidal = bacteria killer; others are bacteriostatic [they don't kill but inhibit growth]). Sometimes, antibiotics are called magic bullets, because they kill their target w/o killing people or affecting their tissues in almost all situations.

IN THAT SENSE, antibiotics are comparable to smart bombs (precision-guided munitions, guided bomb units, Joint Direct Attack Munitions, Joint Standoff Weapons), the most famous of w/c is the Tomahawk missile, I guess (sabi ng friend ko it's not a bomb but a missile; o nga naman).

Most of the time, smart bombs hit the target and minimize civilian damage, but hey, nobody's perfect as proven in the Iraqi War. Same with antibiotics. The perfect antibiotic/magic bullet is still elusive and it will take the length of a dissertation to discuss. But most existng ones will work in the real world. :-)

IN TERMS OF BOMBS, Betadine is a cheap dumb bomb, the one used in carpet bombing Germany and nuking Hiroshima in World War 2. Limit the use of Betadine to cleansing wounds.

Remember, kapag may pneumonia, 'wag uminom ng Betadine. Hehehe. Comments?

TRULY SHOCKING. SOME UNSCRUPULOUS INDIVIDUALS ARE CIRCULATING A FAKE PICTURE OF ME.

2009-06-07T14:31:00.000+08:00

OMG. There's a picture of me naked w/ an unknown woman that's circulating in the internet. I can't even begin to imagine how disgusting these people who did this, are. Shame on them!

I actually consulted Mark Galer, a popular Photoshop expert. After some careful analysis, he said that my body is fake. See the picture below. You decide.

Nakakababoy!

BASá: NOT ANOTHER POEM TRY

2009-06-04T22:03:00.002+08:00

It rained
Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili
This morning

I waded through
Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili
This morning

I was sogging wet with
Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili
This morning

But as I lay me down to sleep with
Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili
this evening

I say Dear Lord, all I want is none of
Hayden Kho but Katrina Halili
This evening

(How's my rhyming? Hehehe.)

Tired of paintball? Muss her hair up with this bazooka

2009-05-31T16:16:00.000+08:00

Oh how I love this geeky physics toy!

To the right is a picture of Megazooka, which is kindof an air bazooka on steroids.

What is it? For those who are not in the know, the airzooka/air bazooka has been around for quite a while. It was invented by Brian Walker. (There isn’t much news about him of late if you Google him. I don’t know what’s been happening to him nowadays but he’s the rocket guy who created a lot of buzz before. His Russian wife left him and now his website is defunct. I don’t know if he has given up on his rocket or if his Russian bride had gotten away with his money, blah, blah, blah.)

The point is, he invented airzooka. Anyway, airzooka is a tube with a flexible cover, which you pull to draw air. When the cover is let go, pressure snaps the cover, hurling a massive ball of air in anime fashion at your target – your cat or a coworker’s hairdo — from at most 20-30 feet, using the physics principle called, um, “vortex ring effect.” (Then, you can laugh if your coworker claims an incubus mussed her hair up.)

My bet is that you let go of those pent-up emotions with an airzooka. Involve your coworkers in a game of airtag. Compared to, say, a game of lasertag with a HERCULES laser, airzooka is a much safer alternative to paintball. And with unlimited air ammo and no batteries, it’s cheaper, too.

Verdict: whatta bummer, it won't work in a Star Wars scenario (outerspace = vacuum). Hehehe.

Morbid/demonic but nonetheless cool wristwatch is really not that morbid

2009-05-26T20:43:00.000+08:00

Yup, the picture says it all. But this watch, designed by Crispin Jones, is called the Accurate not only because it’s purported to be the most accurate fancy wristwatch you can buy, but also because we all agree that, indeed, yes, we’re gonna die sometime (maybe except Britney Spears, arghh).

I think you can go formal or casual with this watch. But please do so in the company of cool dudes. Most reactions I’m reading are uncool and uninformed. So let’s clear this up. A statement from Crispin Jones goes: “Today everyone has a mobile phone to do the really functional timekeeping, this means that the wristwatch is free to do something a bit different. The watches I design reflect and comment on society, both on the role that time plays in all our lives and also on the social impact of technology. ”

In other words, I’m just writing this post and I’m really tired and this world is a weary place and everything is just speeding by, but when I look at my watch, I’m reminded of the simple things that are worth valuing and enjoying (like my face when it’s reflected on the watch’s mirror face; LOL). In short, life is short.

Except that — what? It costs $145? (OK, still, it’s not in the price range of a status symbol.)

Remember. You will die.

SWINE FLU IS IN OUR GREAT GLORIOUS NATION. AS A PREVENTIVE MEASURE, THE PHILIPPINE DAILY IDIOT RECOMMENDS WEARING THE ...

2009-05-22T21:01:00.000+08:00

Predator face mask

ayos!

HOWZ THIS FOR SHOCK VALUE: SUNSHINE & SHOWERING CAN ACTUALLY DECREASE YOUR VITAMIN D LEVELS

2009-05-13T19:49:00.000+08:00

I dig this rebellious doc Mercola. I'm a fan (not to the point of being fanatic; who knows he might be wrong or evil and wants our souls, LOL).

Read this and tell me your thoughts.

Blasphemous Bible Fight is not yet on Xbox, PS3 and Wii — how sad

2009-05-12T20:38:00.000+08:00

(feeling nostalgic. wrote this in a defunct website before. )

In a nutshell, Bible Fight is a flash game, sortof a Bible version of Street Fighter that spoofs both the Bible and Street Fighter.

Now I don’t know what to make of this game, man, except that, granting that I have utmost respect for your spirituality and yes, I’m sensing a thunderstorm brewing outside, plus of course, the guys at This Is Pop for Adult Swim are maybe nuts, I only wish to say a coded message: Bible Fight is h*l@r!*u$. Yet, I resist to die from laughing and go to hell for being game and a gamer.

Oh, I’m checking out the game now. I’ll tell you later about my thoughts on these Bible fighters called Eve, Noah, Moses, Mary, Satan, and Jesus, who look and dress like Eve, Noah, Moses, Mary, Satan, and Jesus.

WHEN HATTON MISTOOK HIS WHITE SANDCASTLE CHIN FOR HIS LEFT HOOK AND THEN ABLY CONNECTED IT TO ITS TARGET ...

2009-05-03T20:49:00.000+08:00

... my doctor's instinct kicked in. Naks.

I mean, I thought, duh, in the process, he also disastrously mistook Pacquiao's left hook for Pac's chin.

Kidding aside, I was worried about the KO'd Hatton.

But what was weirdIng me out was when how some people (were they doctors?) appeared to be maneuvering and lifting Hatton's head in a probable attempt at something resembling a recovery position, sortof. I don't know.

DITCH THE APPLE OR THE TED FAILON NEWS! WATCH A STAVROS FLATLEY A DAY!

2009-04-19T09:52:00.000+08:00

(And get a respite from the Susan Boyle number.)

OMG, WTF, I spun full tilt wondering what this Stavros Flatly and his son had in store for us over at Britain's Got Talent.

Voila, whatta sendup on Michael Flatley and his Riverdance! I was crying, postnasal drip and all, WTF! Ten thumbs up! Thanks to you, guys!!!! Here's the video. -->

(Argh, Youtube had the embedding disabled)

Stavros Flatley - Britains Got Talent

Let’s talk about EASTER SUNDAY, NEIL GAIMAN, THE MENSTRUAL CYCLE, and THE MEDICAL BOARD EXAM

2009-04-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

Belated Happy Easter, every1.

QUESTION What have Easter Sunday, Neil Gaiman, the menstrual cycle & the medical board exam gotta to do with one another?

ANSWER First off, Easter Sunday is a pre-Christian pagan holiday. It was tactically co-opted by Christian tradition so as to expedite the conversion of pagans.

Now observed to remember Christ’s rebirth, Easter Sunday was associated w/ Spring (=rebirth) and was originally meant to honor ISHTAR, the goddess of FERTILITY, love, war & sex (the easter bunny originally symbolized fertility).

INTERESTINGLY, for those who are not in the know, Ishtar (whatta beautiful name) figured prominently (and even pole-danced) in one (Brief Lives) of the installments of Neil Gaiman’s most celebrated work, Sandman. (Shout-out goes to Megamom, Gaya, Doc Harry and Sonia.)

(Trivia: I think Gaiman is one comics writer w/ a disproportionately large number of female fans.)

MORE INTERESTINGLY, did you know that the words ESTRUS (in the menstrual cycle of lower mammals) and ESTROGEN (literally, estrus-former) share the same etymology with the goddess Ishtar and therefore with Easter Sunday?

MOST INTERESTINGLY, if you dear medical board taker happens to drop around here, here are some mnemonics. A sample of a woman’s dried saliva or cervical mucus during an estrogen upsurge (in her menstrual cycle just prior to ovulation ) would display a “ferning” or crystal pattern under the microscope. (Oops, fertile phase. No sex please.)

Supposedly the reason for the ferning is that estrogen is electrolyte-retaining (and thus water-retaining -- probably the reason why women have soft, supple skin).

On the other hand, when progesterone (“pro-gestation” hormone) cyclically becomes dominant in the mostly false hope of expecting a pregnancy (post-ovulation), the cervical mucus is thicker and appears to be “beading” or in small clumps under the microscope.

(Yep, that’s family planning factoid for you, baby!)

OK HERE’S THE CLINCHER. How dya associate estrogen w/ ferning, and progesterone w/ beading in a dumb lazy way?*

Simple.

The root word of ferning is FERN. A fern frond (esp. from those large varieties) resembles a palm frond. Of course, we associate palm fronds w/ Palm Sunday. Then of course, we know Palm Sunday is related to EASTER (estrogen) Sunday!

As for progesterone, PROgesterone starts w/ "PR-." And so does PRaying. Some people PRay by lying PROne. Anyway, the point is that Catholics PRay the ROsary. And the rosary consists of BEADS. There you go.

All together now:

Estrogen-> Ishtar-> Easter Sunday-> Palm Sunday-> Palm-> Fern-> Ferning.

PROgesterone-> PRayer-> ROsary-> Rosary Beads-> Beads-> Beading.

Blasphemous, eh? Hit me w/ a thunderbolt, baby!

*I say “in a dumb and lazy way” because that’s what mnemonics are supposed to be, right? Mnemonics exist because in the context of exams and spurs of the moment and in life in general, most of us have neither the time nor the genius to appreciate the theory/beauty/poetry of every medical concept there is, and its relationship with other concepts. Mnemonics bypass the need for time and genius.

WHAT YOU NEED ON GOOD FRIDAY IS -- JANJARAAAN! -- THE MORNING BANANA DIET

2009-04-10T19:31:00.000+08:00

Why are Aida, Lorna, Fe and everyone else going bananas over the new fad diet from Japan called the Morning Banana Diet???

What is it?

To my knowledge, the Filipino version consists of:

1. Banana con yelo/ saba con yelo (banana w/ ice)

2. Banana cue and turron (banana fritters/spring roll)

3. Banana chips

4. Banana flan

5. Banana pudding, cake

6. Banana ketchup

7. Ginataang puso ng saging (banana bud in coconut cream)

8. The clincher is the banana split.*

Ayos! Try na!

x-D

*not originally Filipino, though

The Blog Rounds Doctors: THEIR LIVES AND LETTERS

2009-04-07T21:18:00.000+08:00

For this TBR, Gaya has some personal questions for us doctors who regularly participate The Blog Rounds.

1/4. WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE ME?

I’m not keen on this one. I just gotta be me therefore I am.

Let me answer some specific questions, though:

Where is your hometown? War-torn Mindanao. In the least war-torn part. It is buttressed to the north by Butuan Bay, to the east by typhoons off the Pacific, to the west, south & everywhere else by layers and layers of peaceful towns. It is Agusan del Norte. (The first time I came to Manila, I hardly spoke Tagalog. Imagine I was using sapagkat and ay in conversations. Example, ako ay kumain na. It was a riot.)

Are you married? Do you have kids? No, no.

What was your pre-med? Biology, default pre-med course. Got a long history.

What is your favorite memory from med school / internship / residency? All those moments with good teachers. They are just too many to put here.

Do you remember your first mortality? I couldn’t. In the clerkship (e.g., clerical) rotations, I got benumbed from the get-go. But got my humanity back.

What do you do right now? Sampling the whole world.

Are you still training, are you teaching, do you have a clinic? Not into residency; Resident evil, maybe lol. While I love cardiology, I realized I don't have the finances to put up a clinic. I cannot even stomach the politics and business side of medicine. They aren't just my cup of tea (or storm).

I’d like to consider teaching as my forte. But teaching is taking a back seat because it doesn’t pay well (maybe at first) and because in the politics of teaching, I’m last in the pecking order. Can’t put up with that, since I’m not getting any younger and I need money now, hehehe; my folks are old and the future is right now). In other words, I have to be practical.

What do you do (or would like to do) in your downtime? If that's internet downtime, practice medicine, maybe. Hehehe.

If you weren't a doctor, what would you rather be? Teacher, foremost. Also, I’d love to do copy for ads, maybe.

2/4. WRITERS WHO INFLUENCED ME MOST

They have to be Teodoro Agoncillo and Renato Constantino, who were mandatory readings in History I back in college. I come from Agusan del Norte, and like anything there is in any traditional province there is, everything in Agusan del Norte is WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) and the preservation of the evil status quo.

Agoncillo and Constantino were the first to dismantle/tear asunder everything for me. They help put into light religion, atheism, sex, politics, creative writing, Bush, the subtexts, the contexts, the Chupa Chups sticks.

It is deconstruction. The rebellion. The paradigm shifts. The thinking out of the box.

For every reality and phenomenon that exists out there, there are a thousand corresponding angles from which to look at it. One must choose an angle best suited to liberate one’s thinking and save mankind from the uncool.

So there, if subversion is reflected in my blog, blame it on Teodoro and Renato. :-)

Aside from these subversives, there are many other writers I get to be mad about. I’m mad about Anne Proulx (for the polyphonic prose; read The Shipping News), Max Soliven and PJ O’Rourke (for the wit), Don deLillo (for being an evil genius in the ways that the sentence should be constructed; he is a god; sample White Noise), Fareed Zakaria & Francis Fukuyama (for the analytical skills; gods too), Jeanette Winterson, John Updike, and Delia Falconer (for the dead-on metaphors but not for the content; read The World and Other Places, Toward the End of Time, & The Service of Clouds ). Etcetera.

Umm, special mention to Michio Kaku. And of course, to Lev Grossman too for writing about me (see last section 4/4 SEVEN BLOG POSTS BY ME THAT I WOULD WANT TO INCLUDE IN A COMPILATION OF MY WORKS below) . :-)

3/4. THREE BLOGS THAT I REGULARLY VISIT

1. Reyna Elena. I once mistook the blogger for a woman. Hahaha. What I get to like about his blog is that: a) though he is a world citizen, he writes about blogosphere buzz in such a way that he still maintains that easily identifiable Filipino character (or is it Filipina? Hahaha) while not selling out or being too highbrowed like those literary wannabes and rich-kid bloggers; b) his opinions are just about right and fair (funny at that); c) his blog is like a blog portal -- he samples blogs around the world (the Santacruzan) using Filipino sensibilities. Good for lazy Pinoy blog-hoppers like me.

2. Hemant Mehta’s the Friendly Atheist. No I’m not an atheist. I read atheism to balance out my thinking. (No, I also don’t believe one of these religions is absolutely right, e.g., Jesus is the way, etc.). Mehta’s blog is the most refreshing among atheism blogs out there. While most of these blogs are angry (masquerading as scholarly), militant, reactionary, and reflexive, Mehta’s is, well, friendly. It is as if he succeeded to rise above the fray (or transcend the stereotype) to reach out to deists and find common ground. We are all in the same boat, aren’t we? The search for truth. (Now wasn’t that mentioned in the movie Contact?)

3. Mercola’s blog. Mehmet Oz is just too commercial for me. On the other hand, Mercola is a respected American doctor with an independent streak. I know he has an agenda of promoting his healthcare products. But if you see beyond it, he uses evidence-based thinking out of the box. He cites studies and clinical trials. He is a pocket Lancet, sortof. (I could be wrong, you know.)

4/4. SEVEN BLOG POSTS BY ME THAT I WOULD WANT TO INCLUDE IN A COMPILATION OF MY WORKS

I really can’t think of any except this one:

WHAT HAVE I DONE SO FAR IN MY LIFE.

If I were you, I’d wait for the movie version. Hehehehe.

ps. i would like to say sorry to my fellow tbr bloggers for just lurking around even during my turn to host the rounds (top ten movies). downtime talaga ako.

RUBIX CUBE

2009-03-21T18:36:00.000+08:00

Whatta reprieve from the berserker barrage of formula shams, scams and scandals.

You and I haven’t been reading the papers lately.

We become less overanalyzing and less over-blogging – a wee bit less over and out-and-out overall.

And yet, maybe a few wrungs below over.

More internet downtime. Less eyestrain. Fewer eyesores. Fewer EM waves of manufactured experiences into our calcarine fissures.

More zen. Less zing.

More whew. Less whoa.

Less Pregabalin. :-)

Less subprime.

ALAS, it all leaves us analyzing and blogging, still. Just short of being over.

Hey, isn’t that an improvement? That way, we can now pay attention to the 3D world immediately around us. It’s over-expanding. Breath-taking.

The world beyond the blogosphere is much simpler. Oh, look at what I found in it. A custom-made Rubix cube.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I was able to solve it in zero seconds, no matter how it was jumbled. Try it.

(Oh in case I’m overdoing my metaphor, and inadvertently overanalyzing again, the whole point is that let us enjoy the simpler things in life. There is nothing new here.)

long overdue obligatory post: IN HONOR OF SAN VALENTIN: UP BALANGHAI PICTURES AT CHOCOLATE KISS UP DILIMAN ca. 15 FEB 2009 AD

2009-02-27T22:31:00.000+08:00

Yakitiyak. Oh it's me (above).

I don’t do personal photos. I fear stalkers. I fear being ripped off by the occasional paparazzo. Think of our Adonis and Hellenic visages being Photoshop-overlain over pornstar Bora bodies and big bananas, and eventually ending up in tabloids and night-vision crap.

(Well, by then, ho-hum, it’s time to deny the scandal.)

And yet when Baritone/Supersonic boom and old pal Marvin Gayramon insisted I post some of them that we shot over dinner at Chocolate Kiss, Diliman, I obliged.

(Marvin trained under the great Ms. Fides at the UP College of Music, and is the owner of Aesthetics Voice Studio.)

You see, every now and then, there’s that shining thing or mini-life definition or frame of mind or smell or gut feel or dark-secret past that trembles on the verge of wanton nostalgia, and renders us all goo-goo eyes over those people that we shared that shining thing, frame of mind, smell, or gut feel with.

I mean, that’s why we were at Chocolate Kiss, those UP Balanghai kids er alumni, those bright young things. But whatta bummer, only a few turned out.

Was it because most of us were busy trying to wrest power from the baby boomers such as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs?

(So, guys, sorry when I didn’t turn out before. You know the reason na.)

Now look at those of us, those kids. They are now decidedly demoted to kids at heart. Looks are deceptive, though. Maybe they are on intravenous gluta or Agaricus murill bellei or something much more passé, like, well, love, actually:

Picture above. Left to right, back row: Marvin, Emily, Iris, Sherry, the Philippine Daily Idiot. Front: May, Sophia and Rolly.

Sophia is the daughter of Rolly and Sherry (who co-manage-design Levi’s stores everywhere; they married because they rhyme, lol.), the god daughter of the Philippine Daily Idiot. She is the meeting’s representative of the yet unnamed next generation.

Per Marvin’s insistence, we wore red. According to Marvz, not bad for obedience, huh. He wore a polo w/ some red on it; Emily wore a red belt; I and Em wore brown, which is clotted red – actually I wore a red boxer’s (Marvin’s theory), and everyone else wore their hearts out. Not really bad.

Surprisingly, it was Sister Iris who conventionally wore red.

Now the idea of wearing red would really attract conversation starters from beautiful strangers such as “Excuse me, ikaw ba si Procopio/Procopia?”

Iris specializes in SPED. She does some psych work. (So what did she tell Heidi, her blood sister, who is in Amsterdam on a scholarship grant? Way to go, sistah. Hehe.)

Em is a lawyer. She still sports her maiden name. All that is needed is that both her surname and her husband's share an "-LL-."

May is doing freelance writing. She recently raged against employment work and thus resigned. To May, I can still remember you at your slimmest back in college. Hehehe. Nevertheless, the extra poundage is directly proportional to wealth, and we all know that wealth is health. Hahaha. Yawards.

Some other snapshots of the minutes:

Above: another one wearing red, Jet, Em’s husband, rightmost, who is based out of Shanghai.

Haay, how time flies like an arrow (like fruit flies like a banana – Groucho Marx). LOL.

At Chocolate Kiss, the agendas were diverse, some of them moot and academic (love notes, nothingness, the location of the First Mass, etc.); one of them -- (reality distortion field alert) -- constantly veering off to how young we have been all thru thick and thin.

Haay, I was reminded of a college kid telling me, “Kuya, have you watched this classic love story called Cutting Edge? Ang ganda!”

Classic? I really thought that “classic” meant Gone with the Wind.

Anyway, to my fellow UP Balanghai alumni and lovers of videoke and daylight: see you next get-together. Kaboom! (Ha, nagagaya ko na ang salita ng isang friend kong doctor.)

(In the meantime, to those amongst us who are getting older from being too lovelorn: since love is not yet injectible, glutathione will do. Give me a call.)

Way to go.

THE EFFECTS OF FALLING IN LOVE: A SYSTEMATIC REVIEW OF RANDOMIZED CONTROLLED TRIALS

2009-02-16T19:44:00.000+08:00

Mel, OK MD, PDI¹ and Northrop Jones, MD, PhD²

¹ As in yeah, OK!

² Mukhang Doktor Pero Hindi Doktor

A B S T R A C T

Objectives To determine whether falling in love results in trauma, romance, marriage, pregnancy, or long life.

Design Systematic review of randomized controlled trials.

Data sources Medline, Pubmed, and the Cochrane Library databases.

Study selection Randomized controlled trials showing the free fall effects of falling in love.

Main outcome measures If falling in love is a form of gravitational challenge: Death or major trauma, defined as Glasgow Coma Score of 3. If falling in love results in romance, marriage, pregnancy or long life: Romance, marriage, pregnancy or long life.

Results We were unable to find randomized controlled trials of gravitational challenge posed by falling in love or that of resulting in romance, marriage, pregnancy or long life. (BTW, is it rise in love instead of fall in love?)

Conclusions and Recommendations As with many methods proposed to make life long and worthwhile, falling in love and the efficacy of its use has never been subject to rigorous testing by way of randomized controlled clinical trials. Supporters of evidence-based effects of falling in love have disapproved of the use of studies using only descriptive observational phenomena.

We suggest that everyone participates in a double-blind, randomized, placebo-controlled, crossover trial of falling in love.

Haay. In other words, ganito ang binoblog ng mga taong -- you know. Hahaha.

Belated Happy Valentine's Day!

This is my way, way late though never too late entry to Doc Em Dy's TBR 29th ed.: Love.

LET'S TALK ABOUT SPECIALIZATION BIAS AND THE BUSINESS ORIENTATION OF MEDICAL PRACTICE IN OUR GREAT AND GLORIOUS NATION

2009-02-05T20:40:00.000+08:00

[THAT IS, W/ DUE RESPECT TO OUR MEDICAL SPECIALISTS. I almost forgot to post this one. Just for recording my thoughts. Sayang naman. So, thanks to Gaya for posting something similar ahead of this one. We also had a discussion with Megamom before. To student editor-in-chief Mnel, thanks for inviting me to write. This was supposed to be addressed to students of a private med. school. A set of lessons from a new grad. But for the subversive content, maybe it will never see print in a certain medical student publication. There is a risk of exposing the innards of the medical profession to non-doctors. It's re-edited but heck. Now for the thesis of this post, scroll down to LESSON # 8. Lessons 1 to 4 are deceptively bulk-filler, sortof.]

I was a new graduate X years back then. Though I might be too inexperienced to suddenly impart wisdom to you, I am nonetheless excited to share you what might pass off as nuggets of wisdom. Naks.

I have been doing the whole gamut of experiences -- from moonlighting to teaching to writing to macho-dancing.

SO FIRST, CONSIDER THIS.

IT'S A DECIDEDLY CLICHÉD DARK AND STORMY NIGHT .You are moonlighting in the middle of nowhere. (To non-doctors, moonlighting means freelancing in hospitals/clinics/etc. as a generalist.) Can you think on the fly when faced with these questions?

QUICK.

1. How do you improvise when no lubricant is available for inserting a nasogastric tube?

2. What do you prescribe when a parent calls on the phone to tell you her child has a “terrifying” cough? After you tell her you need not urgently see her child, still she is unduly worried and requests for a prescription while no drugstore is open and the nearest medical service is faraway. So as not to lose her trust, what do you do to placate her? Then suddenly, you suspect it's asthma. What do you do?

3. How do you make a home-made cough syrup?

(Shet, if only Google was everywhere then.)

These were SOME of the questions I faced right after passing the berserker medical boards. TO MY CREDIT, I did try to McGyver my way around the questions – with mixed results -- they were a matter of life (by dumb luck/pure brilliance/both) or -- death, unfortunately.

THE POINT WAS, I did try to transform the questions into teaching moments. Here are some few random ones (be warned: the following are not at all fluffy and nice, sugar and spice; this is not the usual list, which you can Google; this one is a list from some anti-parallel universe ):

LESSON # 1 is from Spiderman. People officially call me “Doc” not only because they think I know something they don't or that I hold secrets to relieving their problems, but also because – this is important -- I now have a LICENSE NUMBER. Just the thought of it compels me to say, “WITH GREAT POWER COMES ...” -- I'm holding the microphone to you, man.

LESSON # 2. I may have great responsibility. But what about great power? I confess I didn't know much despite the license number. It's one of the IRONIES of medical education. I logged ten years of depersonalization, clerical work, burnout and a trivia quiz of a board exam, but at the end of it all, I KNEW A THING OR TWO SORTOF SHORT OF NOTHING AND MAYBE I STILL DO. (IN CONTRAST, a PhD student graduates as an expert in his field, like my old college pal Mogli, who is now Scandinavian). But still, there is hope. This leads us to ...

LESSON # 3. Thanks to the digital age, we don't have to do it the way how our forebears did – in a cave by a fireplace. LOL. Enter the PERSONAL DIGITAL ASSISTANT, the ultimate “peripheral brain.” Because I knew nothing, a Palm TX came handy. It’s crammed with all the medical apps. It made me look good.

A rough rule for dummies/ newby moonlighters: never open a MIMS in front of a highbrow patient or else, all the pretense at consultancy will be put to waste.

An internet-savvy geek/patient may ask, “Is it true that since nubain binds to mu, kappa & delta receptors, it cancels out the effect of another power painkiller?”

Huh?

You say, “Ihi muna ako,” and do the reading in the CR. LOL.

LESSON # 3A. As for your PDA, there is one wacky WEBSITE from where you can get all those killer apps. For free. Oops. Shhh.

LESSON # 3B. A PDA is like a lover. SO, DON'T CLING TOO MUCH TO YOUR PDA. If you do so and the PDA suddenly conks out, you are in trouble. Therefore, learn and internalize medicine by heart. Besides, there is also a risk that your PDA will start asking, “What am I?” and will incite a rebellion.

LESSON # 3C. In the hospital, when you rotate as clerks and interns in the Departments of Medicine and Pediatrics, be sure to COMPILE all the copies of the daily censuses of patients provided to you. Since they contain management info, they may help you recall some of the treatment points during stints in general practice.

LESSON # 4. Still feeling dumbfounded despite the Palm TX? TRY THE OLD-STYLE: asking people around, no matter how stupid you come across to them. It always helps to ask the knowledgeable, be it the nurse, the nurse aid, the consultant, the patient, the impatient, etc. This is the reason to always be humble and be kind to people. They might just help you. Or give in. Then it's a date. LOL.

LESSON # 5. Patterned after its forebear in the US, medical practice in the country is effectively a form of business. This means that you will have to learn the ropes of doing business. Nobody teaches you this in school. (Of course, this is to soothe Hippocratic purists.)

LESSON # 5A. As pointed out by Doc Willie & Liza Ong in their book Survival for Doctors, MOST DOCTORS WHO ARE SUCCESSFUL WERE ALREADY RICH BEFORE THEY BECAME DOCTORS. They belong to wealthy families with businesses and good connections among the powerful and wealthy. Medical practice being a form of business, it pays to have such a family background. So it was and will always be a fallacy that you get rich by practicing medicine.

LESSON # 6. The virtue of HMOs or health management organizations. You know, when faced with a direful patient with no money, I always had these guilt pangs when I sent him away. Enter the HMOs.

To me, HMOs like Medicard and Intellicare are examples of accessible quality preventive health care, a form of great social equalizer, despite the criticism of HMO critics who are stalwarts in the private practice of medicine like the renowned cardiologist Dr. Calleja.

I once came across a barefoot laborer with blood in his pee. He said he regularly followed up at the Asian Hospital using his health card. Mind you, he was not enrolled in the charity service of that hospital.

Here's an analogy. As generic drugs are to branded meds, and generalists are to specialists, so are HMOs and charity/social service are to private practice.

LESSON # 7. Medical school is really more about a test of PERSEVERANCE AND CHARACTER and multi-tasking skills short of violating the laws of physics (e.g., infinite tasking; being at points A and B at the same time) rather than about HAVING HIGH IQ and learning the clinical pearls or the management of diseases. The fortitude I earned in medical school is the one I'm now using to hurdle further endurance tests in the real world.

LESSON # 8. With everything said, it's clear there is somehow a DISCONNECT BETWEEN THE REAL WORLD AND PHILIPPINE MEDICAL EDUCATION. Why, it was even a mentor who said during my graduation, “You ain't learning nothin' yet.”

There is a certain quirk in this whole Americanized Philippine medical education system by which a MENTALITY TO PURSUE SPECIALIZATION IS NURTURED in the minds of medical students.

Part of the REASONS might be:

1) the CLERICAL nature of clerkship and internship rotations (you always end up wanting to specialize because you know nothing),

2) the ENCOURAGEMENT of specialists,

3) the TRIVIA-quiz format of the board exams (it makes you think in bits of trivia),

4) the perceived higher financial rewards/ ROI and social standing/ social climbing potential conferred to those with specialization (this is presently debunked by the physicians-turned-nurses phenomenon),

5) and maybe Philippine CULTURE in general, which tends to ape everything American, including the American business model of clinical practice.

(IN CONTRAST, in the UK, medical practice is less of a business. Every doctor is tied to the National Health Service. Medicine there is like the army.)

THE EFFECT is that a specialization mentality and bias FURTHER LENGTHENS the already long and costly medical education.

Heck, the effect is even to TRIVIALIZE AND PARADOXICALLY CHEAPEN the ten years of BASIC medical education into something board-oriented.

BY COMPARISON, basic medical education in other countries is shorter – entry into medicine in EUROPE, INDIA and CHINA is undergraduate-level. In BRAZIL, they are trying to fully integrate family medicine in medical school.

THEREFORE, a specialization bias, together with medical practice as a form of business, HELPS:

-- RAISE the doctors’ professional fees,

-- hence, make quality health care LESS ACCESSIBLE,

-- hence, transform HEALTH CARE (preventive medicine) INTO DISEASE CARE as most patients avoid doctors until they are far worse into their illnesses,

-- render the medical graduates (e.g., post-clerks/interns/rat poo) as MEDIOCRE general practitioners and CLASS-A IDIOTS and THE BUTTS OF JOKES, making them prone to refer patients to specialists, and to rationalize and pursue specialization (here’s an in-joke example: a generalist’s diagnosis: grade 4 external hemorrhoid [when external hemorrhoids have no grading]; hypertension stage 3 [stage 3 is outdated]),

-- and ULTIMATELY make medicine LESS responsive to the ills of our society.

(Don’t get me wrong here. I know how important medical specialization is to our society. But IN A SENSE, generalists are more important – because MOST Filipinos are seen by generalists, and a lot of specialists freelance as generalists.)

SO get ready for this: FOR ALL THE FROTHING IN THE MOUTH ABOUT THE MEDICAL BRAIN DRAIN BEING CAUSED BY A LACK OF PRE-NURSING OPPORTUNITIES, SOMEHOW EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY THE PHYSICIAN LEADERS (DR. GALVEZ-TAN, DOH SECRETARY DUQUE, COLLEGE DEANS, PRC BOARD OF MEDICINE, PMA PREZ AND BOARD) FORGOT TO FACTOR INTO THE EQUATION THE PROBLEM OF SPECIALIZATION-BIASED, TRIVIA-QUIZ-SHOW BOARDS-ORIENTED MEDICAL EDUCATION AND THE BUSINESS ORIENTATION OF LOCAL MEDICAL PRACTICE.

(Ha, they forgot because they are into the business of medical practice – and I am no exception.)

I find it unnerving that despite the pervasive business culture of medical practice in the country, OUR MEDICAL SCHOOLS ARE IN A DENIAL that such a thing exists!

This is more hypocritical than it is facetiously Hippocratic. Draw your own conclusions.

TBR 28th ed.: TELL ME WHAT YOUR TOP TEN MOVIES ARE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE

2009-01-21T19:11:00.000+08:00

Just kidding. (But it doesn't hurt, you know. Hehehe.)

The reason for asking my fellow doctors what their fave movies are, is the urgency of doing CPR on our TBR (don’t crap on my rhyme). It is by way of a question so simple to answer, I promised, it is no way near the totally senseless Boards. I thought we’d been too hard on ourselves on many counts.

And I thought these busy professionals will never have any excuses for not answering this TBR's thesis question: What are your top ten movies, dude? I didn’t even follow it up with: Why?

And yet the more important reason for this TBR is, well, the invisible question: Why?

Which they answered, anyway.

We’d like to swap, aside from the movies themselves, the stories behind why we choose certain movies.

"Wala lang."

“It was patterned after my life.”

“The movie was pure crap but something special happened between us while watching it.”

Those sorts of things. Scandal material.

Now for those doctors affiliated with TBR, they don’t have to read this anymore, since they might have already clicked the links in our egroup.

But for those of you out there who are curious about inhabiting the minds (naks) of doctors by way of our fave movies, you’ll soon find out that we are, alas, all too human. Hehehe.

Well, what we actually do is practice medicine in our spare time. Most of the time, we dream for a living (to quote Spielberg).

These docs got game, got life, got movies:

1. The mountain-climbing orthopod & TBR originator Bone MD - ONSCREEN: Movies that topbilled my list!

2. Bricalz in the Hospitalz – Tinseltown Gets Scrubbed Out

3. Movie addict Em Dy, MD (have "MD squared" copyrighted?) - The Movie in My Mind

4. Gaya (Gaya, here's a trivia: if someone copies your style or personality or claims she is you, she'd be called Gaya-gaya. Hehehe. Gi-atay!) – The Top Ten Movies of All Time

5. Music (not mushy, I qualify) buff Gigi (mmm I risk an alliteration: G-clef) – My Top Ten Movies, For Now

6. 2008 Philippine Blog Awardee/Food and everything (maybe except the Force) guru Manggy – Pineapple Lime Mascarpone Tart

7. Art buff and anesthesiologist Ness (trivia: I realize that the opposite of anesthesia is aesthetics: the appreciation of beauty. Nyak!) – Top Ten Movies

8. the Philippine Daily Idiot, yours truly - the Top Ten Movies of All Time

Ha, I'm missing our Megamom!

To other Pinoy MD bloggers, you can still join.

PS. Ang corny ko, no?

PS2. It's in the comments. I hereby add Doc Joey's Some of My Favorite Movies. Because listed as top 3 in her list is the LOTR trilogy, w/c features a humongous eye perched on a tower, w/ high-pressure glaucoma, I suspect that Doc Joey is an ophthalmologist. Hehehe. Nice try, Meloinks.

THE TOP TEN MOVIES OF ALL TIME

2009-01-20T22:53:00.000+08:00

(This is my contribution to the blog rounds 28th ed. w/c I will host.)

There is no perfect top ten movies list.

Let alone the top ten movies of all time.

Strictly speaking, anything “all time” can only happen at the end of time. (That would be the year 2012, haha.)

And yet, surprise, an all-time top ten list can actually happen right now because ---

Because it's a hyperbole. (The world would be bland without the figurative. When you say your mom is the best in the world, it doesn't degrade the rest of the mothers on mother earth. Well, isn't it a problem? The root of our pathos and pitiful squabbles is when we often mistake the metaphor/rhetoric for the real thing. You get the idea.)

Ok, enough with the discussion. The perfect top TEN movies of all time list is mine. :-)

Bingo. I tend to top-ten-stereotype movies that are serious, and behave like shivers seeking our spines, like warmth seeking our Toblerone hearts – whichever applies. Whereas those movies with too many in-jokes, repartees and one-liners are only for laughs and wise-cracking. Some movies even have too many pop-cultural and literary references and allusions, w/c distract us from the story. (I have to admit: sometimes I laugh so hard while everyone is silent just to say, hey, I get the in-joke and most of us here don’t. Cold, isn’t it?)

So, the cymbals, please. In no particular order --

10. Pan's Labyrinth tied with Bridge to Terabithia. These are the few movies that I consider perfect. Magnum opuses, almost Opuses Dei, sortof.

Verdict: I almost died watching these movies.

9. Contact. From the book by Carl Sagan. With acting by Matt McConaughey and purported Mensa member Jodie Foster. There are scenes here in which Jodie overdoes the acting to a silly point.

Verdict: But overall, the movie speaks to my heart – Occam's Razor, God is an alien (nobody takes that seriously, though), both religion and science (in their present forms) having the same degree of vapidity, and yes, of course, the Anthropic Principle: the universe exists today such that it is not too extreme to not support the survival of human intelligence (and by extension, other intelligent beings out there, probably non-carbon-based, even supernatural), intelligence being a requirement to acknowledge the existence of the universe, analyze it, and even control it.

Revised verdict: I can watch this movie over and over again.

8. Dark City. Still on the God is an alien theme. I really believe we humans haven't reached our full potential. It's really sad that both atheists and deists are so sure of their logical proof and disproof using their status quo brains. How puny these status quo brains are, because the human brain in the future will have achieved forms of logic and mathematics never thought possible today – something that transcends the physical and the metaphysical; is psychokinetic; achieves a form of nirvana and oneness that can be verified by science/paradigm shift; is not biased against both living and non-living things; quantifies the soul with an equation; detects it with a device. Yes, it’s absurd by today’s standards. It is absurd maybe to you. That’s Dark City.

Verdict: Like The Matrix, only darker.

Addendum: Dark City is tied with the Truman Show and the Game.

7. Saving Private Ryan tied with Schindler's List. These are overanalyzed Steven Spielberg movies; too celebrated in the media for me to want to say anything more.

Well, except, perhaps, a verdict: Again, they belong together with the movies that I mention with the term “magnum opus” in the same sentence.

6. Neil Gaiman's Sandman, directed by Peter Jackson. It would be the next LOTR.

Verdict: It has three problems, though. 1) It is not connected with Jackson. 2) It doesn't exist yet. 3) It is not even on a planning stage for production. Or is it? I'm dying to see Sandman.

5. Ehem, get ready for this. A Walk to Remember. Tied with the Notebook, Titanic, and Beauty and the Beast. These movies are what going to the movies is all about: to shut down our defenses and surrender to the Force, er, mush. These movies remind us that critics exponentially critique movies and, in the process, defeat the original purpose of movies: to let us have a good time; that is, to afford escapism from the bland sex and the boring office cubicle, and from Quezon’s Inferno.

So, surrender to the mush, suckers. Hahaha.

Verdict: What a self-deprecating laugh.

4. Shucks,

3. I

2. can

1. only

0 muster

-1. a

-2. top

-3. six

-4. list. This is an impulsive list.

FILIPINOS ARE GUILTY OF DOUBLE STANDARDS RE. GOLF BRAWL AND THE PRESENT SEIGE OF GAZA STRIP

2009-01-09T22:28:00.000+08:00

I was reading Doc Ness today, realizing:

Yes. we, Filipinos, are guilty of double standards.

WHILE we express outrage in extremis over the Pangandamans' alleged use of excessive force to "defend" themselves against a certain Jackass de la Paz in a game of golf/golpe, we CONDONE Israel's use of excessive force in Gaza Strip to "defend" itself. Israel's idiotic logic: for using human shields, Hamas is to be blamed for the deaths in Gaza. See pictures. (Thanks, Doc Ness.)

Bobo! If someone holds your mother hostage, should the sniper kill your mother/human shield to kill the hostage taker, then put the blame on the hostage taker for the death of your mother? Godawful yes?

(No, of course. You would want to kill the sniper! In the context of the Palestinians, Israel is reinforcing its image as a poster for recruiting suicide bombers into Hamas' ranks.)

AND SO, both the puny golf brawl incident and the Gaza bombing are cases of swatting the mosquito by carpet-bombing the whole place.

Supposedly God-fearing Filipinos always have this romantic notion of Israel as righteous and "God's chosen people." How do you square that with God-fearing?

You don't.

PS. I hope they should, instead, bombard those rich Pinoy kids, selling drugs, dragging us, I mean, reminding us once again that we are in Quezon's Inferno!

Why can't just everyone follow Google's motto: DON'T BE EVIL?

2009-01-04T17:12:00.000+08:00

In the wake of the current bombing of the Gaza Strip, I got into a discussion about the title of this post.

Right, why can't everyone just be good?

Is it BECAUSE nobody's perfect?

Is it because evil is relative (e.g., choose the lesser evil)?

Is it because to err is human?

Or is it because a wrong can right another wrong (e.g., bombing the Gaza Strip as leverage)?

I really got tired of these perfunctory answers, man.

We need to thresh out those cliches.

The reason why everyone can't be not evil is the SCARCITY OF RESOURCES everywhere, period.

Everyone and groups of everyone are COMPETING (e.g., office gossip and politics) for these scarce resources, whatever they are to everyone, be them oil, gold, money, fame, history's favorable judgment/legacy, iPhones, plasma tvs, family, hearth and home, healthcare, medical patients, jokes, love stories, nirvana, quite moments, laughter, a perfect sunset, the dry leaves fusing out into the backdraft of the dome of the lapis lazuli sky one picturesque dreary afternoon. Ha-ha.

Don't get me started about the competition's being some god's test or experiment. I couldn't care less. There are just so many asses of gods to kiss (Holy Trinity, God, Hindu pantheon, Bathala). Believe me, Islam does not make Christianity wrong in the same way that Christianity does not make Islam wrong, and Judaism does not dot dot dot -- so why trust religion???

The idea of religion and society is that they make this competition for resources palatable.

OR WORSE, they make the competition worse (e.g., the Crusades, the Intifada, the Spanish conquests, World War 2/the Holocaust, Our Great and Glorious Nation, and yes, our very own bias toward minorities).

THE PANGANDAMANS VS. THE DE LA PAZES: the other side of the story

2009-01-04T15:02:00.000+08:00

We have been reading Bambee de la Paz's post about the golf brawl incident in Antipolo.

Blogger Hunnijodi writes: THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY.

I commented on Hunnijodi's blog:

Hey, thanks for the post! I might be putting a foot in my mouth. I'd give the Pangandamans the benefit of the doubt. It's the de la Pazes' word vs. theirs.

And still, even if Mr. de la Paz is a jackass and evil himself, I'd say the burden of proof is on Mayor Pangandaman as he has moral ascendancy as an elected official.

I'd like to hear from the mayor himself.

Anyway, this has nothing to do with being a Moslem. But most Pinoys are Islamo-phobic. In that regard, the most practical way to approach Islamo-phobia is not to stoop down to the level of the Islamo-phobic.

Mayor Pangandaman's case is worse. Whether he is a Moslem or a Christian, he is an elected official, the son of the DAR secretary!!! I must be dumb.

Then it gets really, really worse. The brawl involved a kid and an old man.

-- over a game of golf, a decent man's game!

Worse, worse, worse.

Hey, I'm happy that there is quite a number of Moslem Filipino bloggers.

PS. This is what I like about the internet -- it empowers the middle class in the Third World, where the conversation is usually between the ruling class and the poor. But if you look at First World democracies, the middle class is king.

OH NO, NOT ANOTHER CHRISTMAS STORY (AND PICTURES): A RESPITE FROM TALKING ABOUT GRAFT & CORRUPTION

2009-01-04T14:21:00.000+08:00

You bet. The pictures later.

Back aloft Cebu Pacific, in between Manila & Butuan, the flight attendant had been staring at me. Yeah, right. The seemingly false eyelashes notwithstanding, she had these big brown but ultimately sad, sad eyes.

Uh-huh, I got the point when she said, “We are now on our final descent ...”

-- to Quezon' s Hell? I muttered. It must be sad, indeed.

So I strapped myself tight to what she'd say the sinturong pangkaligtasan. In English, it's the Golden Girdle of the Redeemer. I braced myself for impact on reentry to Quezon's Hell and hoped for Redemption. Yawards, it's no use. It's just a safety belt.

It's no use, for this is Butuan City, just another part of Quezon's Hell. But at least, it's not Manila, anymore.

Butuan City /boot-1/ – haunt of my youth where legerdemain lies, the ancient kingdom, the Manobos' Venice, Balanghai archeological site, the place of the First Mass (it's not Limasawa), graft and corruption heartland -- is located in a super floodplain in the least war-torn part of the war-torn faraway promised land of Mindanao – farther off north and east. It is visible on Google Earth.

To the fortune of cops and soldiers assigned here, the degree of wartorn-ness is mostly measured by the occasional NPA raids around the area. One just happened to a mining company owned by one of the local political dynasties.

When Manilenos ask where exactly Butuan is, I usually mention the more recognizable names in the Caraga Region: Siargao and the Agusan Marsh. Add to that the Philippine Daily Idiot. :-)

But how about the Moslem insurgency? Aside from the flooding from the Agusan River, the typhoons off the Pacific, and the temblor in the non-Butuanons due to the lovable cussing nature of the Butuanon, the insurgents will have to deal with the phalanx of mountains and Christian towns and cities (Davao, Iligan, Dipolog, Cagayan de Oro, Bukidnon, Gingoog, Surigao, Bayugan, etc.) that buttress Butuan to the west, east, south and everywhere else.

And then, of course, the Christians, Moslems, and lumads here co-exist.

Yet another reason why Butuan is more peaceful than Metro Manila and elsewhere (I don't hear much about Butuan in the news but I can wait) is the graft and corruption here, which is an institution, and thus permeates every human being here as though it's a TB bacillus (its integrity is being questioned every now and then to no avail by the local Bombo Radyo).

So, when every Butuanon accepts graft and corruption ~~in resignation~~ as a way of life, all is well in the kind of let's-not-kill-one-another manner. They pay the revolutionary taxes to the NPA, auction their votes to the highest bidder, host visiting MILF forces, transact business in a mutually corrupt way. They go on with their lives. In other words, life is short. Everyone dies off like the dinosaurs; so make the most out of it.

Wait, am I not pertaining to Quezon's Inferno, in general?

AND so, this is the heartland of Quezon's Hell. Meanwhile, in imperial Manila, the dailies and the well funded anti-corruption orgs focus on the big fish. But the thousands of small fishes in the heartland continue to thrive under our moral radar. As a metaphorical symbol, the superficial hoopla over the big fish will just go for naught if it doesn't highlight the fact that Quezon's Hell is teeming with small fishes.

Oh yeah this is the heartland. I GOT YOU SOME PICTURES that I took on a joyride in Butuan.

TELL ME what's the use of a traffic island (picture below) that obscenely juts out on the road. To organize traffic? To keep crossing pedestrians out of harm's way? For aesthetic purposes? NO, no, no.

ITS PURPOSE is to make traffic more difficult in a road less traveled. In fact, due to the belly-aching laugh from the ludicrousness and oiliness of this scheme, we had a hard time negotiating this road. The second purpose, of course, is to save concrete or rip off the budget allocated to paving this road.

Guess what? We at least helped create a semblance of heavy traffic when we stopped in the middle of the road to take some pictures.

THE NEXT PICTURES BELOW are of those hilarious street signs that pepper the highways in the Caraga Region. Unless they are clandestine symbols of an ancient secret organization, they have no clear purpose. Some of them do not even adhere to the use of universal traffic symbols. Maybe they're Made in China, somewhat. The purpose of putting up these signs, of course, is to rip off the constantly ripped-off DPWH budget.

The road sign above, placed next to a nipa hut, is self-explanatory except it cannot explain where exactly we can do lunch.

Another picture:

So many P signs around. What exactly is a P? Petroleum? Parking? Pacquiao? P***?

The JCT signs are the most numerous of them all. We suspect JCT means '”junction” as such sign is mostly located near a tiny dirt off-road that crosses the highway. That is, if you look closely. Yeah right.

Road sign on a viaduct. The person looks sad.

Crossroads or Red Cross outpost sign in the middle of the same viaduct? I couldn't even see either of them ahead.

Yet another road sign on the same viaduct.

The same goddamned viaduct with another road sign. Does that mean 30 mph minimum? 30 tons minimum? 30 minutes?

THE MORAL I learned from the pictures is that when you corrupt, corrupt subtly. Ikanga, moderate your greed para 'di halata (so no one sans me will notice).

The corrupt of Cebu didn't get it when they put up those humongous lampposts. Marcos didn't get it. The ZTE scammers didn't get it. Our generals on a Russian junket didn't get it. Erap didn't get it. Gloria and the Evil First Gentleman didn't get it. Ad infintum, ad nauseum.

LASTLY, I was told of how high the cancer rates are in the Caraga/Agusan region. Man, I cannot even start doing marginal correlations with some causative factors but my brother cannot help juxtaposing these cancer rates with the ludicrous entity called the Butuan Water District, the local NAWASA.

Its water treatment is said to be inadequate and is reportedly NOT APPROVED by the DOH (have to verify this). It sources its water from the downstream part of a river. Even a Labrador retriever would say if that's downstream, then there must be an upstream. God knows what's upstream – sludge? Industrial and agricultural runoff? Britney Spears? Heavy metals? (Take note that Our Great and Glorious Nation has no sewerage system, in general.) There is even allegedly a mine upstream. Arf!

AND STILL the Butuan Water District boggles the mind as IT CONTINUES TO PLY ITS SERVICES. It has even the gall to increase the water bills. It's for the Christmas bonuses and umpteenth month pays or whatever, maybe, I dunno.

When the Butuan Water District head was on air over at Bombo Radyo, he was asked, WHY DOES THE WATER COMES TO A TRICKLE WHEN IT RAINS? Came the hilarious reply to the effect: We had to turn off the tap/pressure regulating valves kay mulubog ang tubig sa among source; wala namo ma-anticipate nga mulubog. (The water at the source kicks up dirt/gets silted by runoff and turns muddy; we didn't anticipate before that rain will have this effect.)

How seriously dumb he could get. It would have been less idiotic if the water source is a swimming pool, but it's the turbulent river. Even a Labrador retriever doesn't need to attend an ecology class to understand and anticipate that a river is lotic.

The Water District head was an engineer himself, the president of the local civil engineering association. The one who questioned, who is also an engineer, questioned more, WHAT THEN HAPPENED TO THE HALLOWED ENGINEERING PRINCIPLE OF ENGINEERING A STRUCTURE TO WITHSTAND THE WORST CASE SCENARIO, considering that the river is a lotic ecosystem?

Came another hilarious Joc-joc style reply to the effect: We will confer with the DENR about this. Did he imply the DENR was amiss in protecting the watershed? (It must be.)

And to think that the Water District is said to have a Japanese consultant in its ranks. Another water district insider said, Ambot sa among consultant ngano. (I don't know why it's been like that; you can ask Samurai X.)

I'd like to check the background of this engineer. If he's another product of U.P., HE REINFORCES MY TIMEWORN AND FORLORN CONCLUSION: U.P. IS A BREEDING GROUND FOR THE BUDDINGLY CORRUPT, WHERE THE YOUNGER MEMBERS OF THE POLITICAL DYNASTIES GET TO HONE THEIR EXPLOITING SKILLS.

When terrorists the world over are preaching that one of the best ways to mass-terrorize is to poison a society's water resource, they could learn a thing or two from -- tadaah – the Butuan Water District. My dear friends, this is Quezon's Inferno.

Why, indeed, life is short (due to cancer). Happy New Year.

Coffee, anyone?

ACME OF ASSHOLISM

2009-01-02T20:49:00.000+08:00

We expect assholisms in Quezon's Inferno. I am re-posting this unedited without the consent of the original message forwarder. (To the writer, don't worry about privacy, because you are all over the news; I saw you crying on TV. [oops, blogger pala to xa -- see comment])

To Mayor Who-the-hell-are-you, you give ~~golf~~ Islam a bad name, and help reinforce stereotypes about Moslems. You even give assholes a bad name.

Forwarded message:

Friday, December 26, 2008

At around 1:30 PM today, at Valley Golf and Country Club, Antipolo City, Mayor Nasser Pangandaman, Jr., Mayor of Masiu City, Lanao del Sur, his father, Secretary Nasser Pangandaman of the Department of Agrarian Reform, and company, beat my defenseless 56-year-old dad and my 14-year-old brother to a pulp because of some stupid misunderstanding on the golf course.

This is a golf course. I have been a golfer all my life, and I have never seen anything like this. NOTHING. This is hard to comprehend. And it happened to my own father and my own brother too. Right in front of my eyes.

My brother and I were playing golf at the South Course of Valley. We were on the 3rd hole, and we see two golf carts going past us, overtaking our flight, and setting up to tee off on the next hole. My dad goes up to them and asks them why they would do that, why they would overtake us without even asking for our permission. Golf etiquette 101. One of the guys says that they're with the flight in front of us. (So what? That doesn't give them the right to just pass us WITHOUT asking.) So, we go to the 5th hole. The flight behind us catches up with us, and asks us what caused the hold up. We said that this flight just slipped in front of our flight. So we complained to the marshall. We play the 5th hole and walk towards the next hole, where there is a teehouse, and both the flights in front of us were there, talking with the marshall. The mayor of Masiu City, Lanao del Sur talks with my dad. Things get heated up. Voices were raised. But never, in my wildest dreams, did I ever imagine that someone would pull out a punch. Apparently not. He attacks my father. His flightmates, maybe 2 or 3 of them, rush to his aid and beat up my father. My 56-year-old father. My younger brother and I could not just watch. We rushed to break the fight. My younger brother pleads to the mayor to please stop it. To not hurt my dad. To just stop. His words still ring through my head..."Sorry na po, sorry na po...tama na...tama na po..." With his hands in front of his chest in a praying position. PLEADING. The mayor socks him in the face. My brother defended himself. My dad is still on the ground getting clobbered. My brother is the same way. I try to stop the fight, but all I can do is stop one person. There were 4 or 5 of them attacking now.

Someone breaks up the fight. I thought it was all over. The mayor shouts to his caddy: "Hindi nila kami kilala! Sabihin mo nga sa kanila kung sino ako!" And believe me, I had no idea who this person was. But now I know. He's the person who, with 4 other men, beat up my 56-year-old father and my 14-year-old brother. He's the person who sacks a pleading 14-year-old kid in the face. He's a person who, I am sure, is gonna rot in hell.

I lash out, but my dad held me back. I was screaming my lungs out, shouting to this mayor, telling him about what he had done. I said: "Nakakahiya kayo. Singkwenta'y sais anyos ang tatay ko. And kapatid ko kakatorse anyos. Anong ilalaban nila sayo?"

The mayor looks at my brother, point to his face, and says, "Tatandaan kita!" And he tells me that my brother has a bad attitude and that I need to watch him. WHAT THE HELL?! So, my brother's bad for defending his father?!

We leave. We walk to the clubhouse to file a complaint. My brother asks for a doctor. My dad could barely walk. Their group comes to the clubhouse, sees my brother. Once again my brother pleads, says sorry, and is crying. He was CRYING, for crissakes. But no. The relentless mayor still punches him in the face, and then sees my dad and goes after my dad again. Him and his friend pull my dad to the ground, pulls at his feet, and steps on him like he's dirt. I run to him and try to hold him back, holding him back by his shirt, while this other guy and this girl tries to stop me. She tells me to just stop it. I scream in her face "they're beating my father up and you want me to stop?!" I pull at his shirt--I don't let go. All I can see was my dad being trampled on. I didn't even see my brother getting beat up.

People pull them away. I get my dad, and I saw my brother. His right ear was bleeding. I freaked out. I told the receptionists to bring my brother to the clinic. I pull my dad away. People were separating us.

My mom and my older brother come. I tell her Bino's right ear is bleeding. They both look like they could kill. My dad holds my brother off, I hold off my mom. When I finally got my mom under control, my older brother gets away and I hold him off. Two of the mayor's bodyguards pull out guns. I embraced my brother from the back, just holding him back, crying. The receptionists came to us, crying, hugging me, my dad, and my mom, whispering to us to just leave. "Maam, umalis na po kayo, may mga baril sila...Maam. ..umalis na po kayo please..."

I am pretty sure the Secretary of DAR did not take part in the fight, but he just watched all this happen. He watched two of his sons, as we figured out, the other guy was his son, too, beat up my father and my 14-year-old brother. He didn't do anything to stop it. And this person is what now? A cabinet member. A politician.

Sounds like something out of a movie, doesn't it? But this is what happened. TODAY. The day after Christmas. To my family. And all I ask for is JUSTICE. The people at Valley Golf did not seem to want to help us. None of the security guards even tried to stop the fight. Right in the clubhouse. I came back after the fight was over and talked to the receptionists. They say they did not see anything. The general manager of Valley Golf would not give us the names of the men who made my brother's ear bleed. It took him an hour. Maybe even more than that. He seemed to not want to help us. Because, we were against the SECRETARY OF THE DEPARTMENT OF AGRARIAN REFORM and the MAYOR OF MASIU CITY, LANAO DEL SUR. They were all scared.

The world has gone crazy. Two politicians beat up a defenseless 56-year-old father and his 14-year-old son. At a golf course. I swear to God, I thought golfers were decent people. You would think politicians were decent people. I guess not. I guess they gang up on 56-year-old men and beat up pleading 14-year-old kids.

Please pray for my dad, my brother and for my whole family. Please pray that we get JUSTICE. Oh God, please, give these people what they deserve.

IN A DOG-EAT-DOG* WORLD, THIS IS WHAT IS MEANT BY “HAS GONE TO THE DOGS”

2008-12-20T18:45:00.000+08:00

(*In Great & Glorious Nation: man-eat-dog, that is. :-) )

I mean, I'm referring to a certain forwarded message. But later on that.

Of late, I have been ripping off my inbox. The Philippine Daily Idiot has arrived at the decision that many of these gems of forwarded messages must never be lost in the archives forever.

Why? Sayang eh. The psychology behind forwarded messages is that they are an antidote to destruction (e.g. Quezon's Inferno) or boredom.

OR they are a reminder of the same. They seem so, while we are wasted between 12NN and 1PM in our work stations.

They’re cute, funny, touching, Nirvana-enabling. OR they’re gross, emo, hardcore, soul-freezing.

In the world of messages forwarded (in contrast to the blogosphere), a tribe of creative artists thrive, the kind who will never be acknowledged for unselfishly originating and dishing out coolness in the form of forwarded messages. In my attempts to trace who ultimately forwarded which, the originators get lost.

But cut the over-analysis, will you? It's really beside the point. The forwarded message below is about what my gut feel considers as a true event in Japan/China/wherever – it’s a welcome respite from bland sex and the usual Hippocratic frothing in the mouth -->

Hey, wake up! wake up!

A dog was knocked down by a car and died on the middle of the road. Later, this dog is seen beside the corpse of the dog, he tried to wake his wife up using his leg.

Let's move to the safer side of the road...i will move you to the safer side!

When his attempts to wake his wife failed, he tried to push his wife to the side of the road. But the weight of his wife was proven too heavy for him.

Anyone help, tell me what to do.

Though the traffic is busy and dangerous, he just will not go away from his wife. Just stand beside his wife howling and crying.

A lot of people saw this incident and feel very touched.

How even a dog can show his loyalty and love to his wife.

______________

End of forwarded message.

Silence.

(OK, I still have to credit who originally forwarded this message. Those images even have watermarks if you look closely. To the owner, don't request Blogger yet to have them erased. :-) )

Anyway, I must say it’s the highest form of speciesism/antropocentrism when humans insist that animals have no souls. If animals are soul-less, why do they understand death?

I have come to a profound conclusion, thus (naks). And it’s beyond the metaphorical or the figurative (e.g. the soul-less Hitler; the soulful voice of Aritha Franklin). This is it: depending on your viewpoint/mood, animals are either as soulful or as soul-less as the rest of us are in the universe. Especially you. Especially Joc-joc.

Now, if you still have doubts about animals’ capability of genuine compassion, look no farther than another true story – the case of two elephants named Jenny and Shirley – which was featured in Reader's Digest and somewhere else.

So, once upon a time …

Is bipartisan politics for make benefit Great and Glorious Philippine Nation?

2008-12-14T18:43:00.000+08:00

At this point, either we are nuts or – this is the point -- we must be thankful for Barack Obama. Among other reasons why, his star power has keenly drawn our attention to the American political exercise.

THE EFFECT is one of brushing up on Democracy 101 on our part. Which is made possible by widespread cable and the internet. (And yet, many netizens still wonder what an electoral college is. One time, I overheard diners saying Obama won though they couldn't be sure how Biden fared.)

THE EFFECT is -- oh no, not again – we are rendered emo in extremis re. our state of affairs down here in Great and Glorious Nation/Quezon's Inferno/ Patchwork Republic/The Deep Shit That We Are In. WTF.

THE EFFECT actually is sortof a political Penis Envy among us, Third World asses (sorry for the pun.) We are enamored by and a bit envious of Obama's grassroots organization and internet savvy; by the political debates, the efficient voting system, and McCain's swift and gracious concession speech ahead of the official results.

We so wished the what-if's upon us and sigh.

BUT IN PARTICULAR, THE EFFECT is that I am reminded of late about some well meaning pundits and politicians suggesting that a strong party system exemplified by America's bipartisan political system is antidote to a kiss- ass/ balimbingan/ turncoatism/ political patronage/ TRAPO/ KBL (kasal binyag libing) ethic that is widespread and much parodied, and therefore, is likely symptomatic of our deeply rooted corrupt political culture.

AND YET, I am nonplussed by a lot of the erroneously optimistic among us, many of whom are members of the exploiting class/political dynasties. As they flaunt around their useless MBA degrees from Harvard and Oxford, they say our country is doing A-OK. But A-OK my ass. I say theirs is the kind of optimism that is actually complicit in our corrupt affairs. It’s an optimism based on MAKING THE MOST OF OUR SITUATION--- this is exponentially deceptive, because actually it means, IF YOU CAN’T LICK ‘EM, THEN JOIN ‘EM, fire, brimstone and all. The GMA-appointed ombudsman, Merciditas Guttierez, once stated her office was being swamped in record time with corruption cases.

BUT BACK TO THE SUBJECT. The THESIS PROBLEM (naks) of this post is: Is a bipartisan political culture, a unique industrialized country political ideal, applicable to the Philippine experience?

To my mind, NO.

First off, THERE ARE NO REAL COMPETING POLITICAL IDEOLOGIES IN THE MAINSTREAM POLITICS OF OUR GREAT AND GLORIOUS NATION. Why? Later.

Anyway, a two-party system is based on antagonistic political/economic/social ideologies. Ideologies galore. Here's a bit on ideologies. An ideology or social theory (Marxism, capitalism, mercantilism, anarchy, etc.) starts out as a set of ideas and maybe PRAGMATIC responses to a real world social problem. Ideologies become problematic when they become DOGMATIC. That is, they (1) don’t respond anymore to the social condition/problem; (2) fail to solve the problem, in the first place; (3) are unethical and immoral; (4) -- um, the problem does not exist.

Extreme examples of such are Hitler’s Final Solution and North Korea’s leader-worship pseudo-Marxism. Hehe. Blah examples are communism in the USSR and the dogmatic Ataturk worship masqueraing as Kemalist secularism in Turkey. But the most famous example today is the laissez-faire economics (freest market capitalism championed by Ronald Reagan). The excesses of laissez-faire (the concoction of exotic financial instruments; the ballooning budget deficits secondary to low taxes) indicate that today is the end of the Reagan Era, as explained by Francis Fukuyama in the miss-half-of-your-life-if-you-didn't-read kind of essay The Fall of America, Inc. Reaganomics is like wearing mom jeans in today's skinny stressed low-waist kindof emo jeans culture:

But oops, the overall disadvantage of ideologies, regardless of whether or not they are as vapid as North Korea’s leader worship, is that there was NEVER A TIME NOR A SITUATION THAT THEY REPRESENT a perfectly PRAGMATIC/PRACTICAL response to a problem. (Well, except for the ideology of pragmatism/practicality. LOL but later on that, too.)

Why? Because the real world is too complex and too chaotic to be pigeon-holed into clean-cut problem categorizations with clean-cut solutions. Ideologies represent a human condition -- an attempt to make sense or a pattern out of complexity or problem. And when a new problem cannot be explained and solved by existing theory or ideology, then that theory paradigm undergoes a paradigm shift. (Nobody’s perfect, that is. To err is human. Our IQs are puny by divine standards.)

As an analogy, in physics, the imperfect Newtonian mechanics was thought to be perfect to account for everything until it was realized that it wasn’t sufficient when the x-y-z dimensions become too big or too numerous –- more than just x, y and z (enter theory of relativity), too small (enter quantum mechanics), too chaotic (enter chaos theory), or just too everything for comfort (enter theory of everything, etc.).

SO, how did the developed countries (e.g., countries based on the free-market ethic) CIRCUMVENT the problem of ideologies, the fact that they are really never pragmatic responses to real world problems????

THE ANSWER is commonsensical. Invent a pragmatic compromise: the two-party system (the Republican and Democratic Parties in the US). A better term is TWO-IDEOLOGY SYSTEM. There might be more than two mainstream parties involved as in the case of the United Kingdom (Labour, Conservative, and Lib Dem) but the basic two underlying ideologies are the same: conservatism and liberalism.

Actually a two-ideology system is not an invention. It is not contrived. It is the natural outcome of industrialization. When a country prospers or becomes developed, its wealth can now support a two-ideology system (and all the bipolar debates that it entails), and implement the expensive resolutions of such debates, the debate topics being stem cell research, military intervention, gun rights, gay marriage, ARPA-E, DARPA, prayer in school, nuclear power, abortion rights, electric cars, higher taxes, affirmative action, welfare state, big brother government, small government, etc.

A two-ideology system should not be enforced and contrived. It should be a natural offshoot of a country’s prosperity.

Now, aside from the American concepts of the Supreme Court and the Senate (as distinct from the executive office), a two-ideology system is another source of check and balances not only in the sense of limiting power and graft and corruption ("power corrupts") BUT ALSO IN the PRAGMATIC TERMS OF acknowledging that the world overall is neither OVERTLY conservative nor OVERTLY liberal but ONLY pinpoints in the continuum between conservatism and liberalism.

These two ideologies are poles apart. But put side by side, they are a convenient panhandle of existing social/political/economic phenomena because a lot if not all phenomena and issues the world over are either conservative or liberal.

NOW HOW CAN A TWO-IDEOLOGY SYSTEM WORK IN QUEZON’S INFERNO WHEN OUR APPRECIATION OF CONSERVATISM AND LIBERALISM IS RATHER LIMITED????

Mention liberalism and the first thing that comes to our minds is Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and our teen stars getting pregnant left and right. Mention conservatism and we associate it with Opus Dei. Haha.

Then it gets worse. I mean, what did I say several paragraphs back? THERE ARE NO REAL COMPETING POLITICAL IDEOLOGIES IN THE MAINSTREAM POLITICS OF OUR GREAT AND GLORIOUS NATION.

WHY? BECAUSE our central issues are poverty and corruption, and the fact that they feed off each other in a vicious cycle (the politician gives out short-term eye candies to the poor; the poor elect the damn bastard). Solving poverty and corruption is NEITHER SOLELY conservative nor SOLELY liberal in the Third World context (though in the first world, given their wealth to support genuine political debates, the approach to social equity and solving poverty is either liberal or conservative or a combo of both). In Great and Glorious Nation, corruption is solved by honesty, integrity, and hard work. Integrity is neither liberal nor conservative. Rather, IT IS BI-IDEOLOGICAL. In fact, it is even non-ideological. Even a bacterium can understand that.

A NATION NOT PROSPERING SUCH AS QUEZON' S INFERNO CANNOT GRADUATE TO A BI-IDEOLOGICAL SYSTEM IF IT IS STILL STUCK IN THE DEEP SHIT OF A NON-IDEOLOGICAL PROBLEM, NAMELY POVERTY AND CORRUPTION.

And when a nation is stuck in the non-ideological problem of poverty and corruption (e.g., it has no finances to support and implement the money-intensive resolutions of a genuine liberal-vs.-conservative debate), the NATURAL tendency of Great and Glorious Nation politicians is to ascribe to the ideology of non-ideology – THE NON-IDEOLOGY OF WHOLESALE PRAGMATISM, regardless of whether they acknowledge it or not.

WHAT IS WHOLESALE PRAGMATISM?

Wholesale pragmatism is simply -- FOLLOWING WHERE THE MONEY IS. I lump into wholesale pragmatism things such as:

1. Kiss-ass politics – balimbingan/turn-coatism. Politicians change parties as if these were undies. This is out of necessity to achieve personal survival/return of investment in vote-buying/fulfilling political promises. When they shift allegiance to the dominant party, they get a share of Malacanang's largesse (such as the fertilizer scam).

2. The tongpats system – no explanation needed.

3. Political debts of gratitude – no explanation needed.

4. Making do with a ripped-off/corrupted budget to build low-quality infrastructure or to increase a little the minimum wages (e.g., making the most of the situation). (A pragmatic politically minded friend said, a little increase in wages is better than no increase at all. He sees the glass half full. But fuck, we have been seeing the glass half full for so long with no results. Why? Because the glass is half empty, for chrissakes!!! Why do we put up with tiny wages when the tongpats these politicians are getting are in hundreds of millions of pesos???? We are totally fucked up!!!!!!).

5. Political clanishness

6. The corrupt fraternity system in the country – understandably corrupt because frat men are molded in the violent mainstream gangsterism culture in the university.

All of them are interrelated.

Now a friend wonders, what about the local Liberal Party of the Philippines? Isn't it a party based on ideology? Ans. NO, despite its official vision.

However, there is a big political party here in Great and Glorious Nation that is based on ideology – the Communist Party of the Philippines. It has two problems. One, it ascribes to a fringe form of liberalism, which had been discredited in the experiences of Russia and China, two of CPP's foremost benefactors (though one can make a case for communism as a necessary phase in China's eventual embrace of capitalism). Two, the CCP is not part of mainstream politics. Though a lot of small parties in congress (party list) lean left, there main issues are still the same just like everyone else's – the non-ideological issue of poverty and graft and corruption.

In the final analysis, you get the idea, anyway. So I don't have to recap.

Trivia: Can you name a third world country with a genuinely two-ideology system? There is none. (Valenzuela is not. Chile is not.)

the quest for immortality

2008-12-11T21:08:00.000+08:00

WHAT a week, and I’m into my fits of what-if’s.

If I zoom seven years back to that fateful (fatal?) day (a day after 9/11, a Manila Thursday, to be exact), I can recall 9/11 reinforced my fickle yearning for immortality.

I can now re-analyze my decision to pursue medicine on that very day.

It was a gray 9/12/01. There I was in an office in the complex of the UP National Engineering Center.

Benumbed from the get-go; bored and boring; and weirded out by research/menial work, I had my Neo moment. I wondered bright-eyed what the future held for me. I was faced with many options, which were offered to me by well-meaning people. These options were ultimately pared down to the three tantalizing ones based on my analysis at that time, which revolved around my relentless search for immortality:

A. Be an actor.

B. Be a boxer.

C. Or be a doctor.

So, better get a feel of this blog to say, therefore, I chose Choice __. Was the decision right?

In light of new evidence in favor of or against choosing A, B or C, here’s an expert re-analysis by the Philippine Daily Idiot:

CHOICE A

I mulled over Choice A for obvious reasons. The perks of acting were obvious. At that time, while I was looking at the mirror, monitoring my biceps, I suddenly realized, hey, who said life is fair? By acting, I get to share my talents with the rest of the world and earn good money in the process. I wouldn’t see it as work at all. If someone would ask what my job is, I’d say: enjoying life for a living. Or dreaming for a living, as what Steven Spielberg had said. How’s that for work?

Now this was really the tipping point for qualifying an acting future as among the big three: I get to kiss Anne Curtis.

However, new evidence suggests that despite the perks of acting, actors still die— sometimes so abruptly like what happened to Mark Cielo, Rico Yan and Julie vega.

Verdict: I’m not sure if it was correct not to choose acting. It is short on immortality.

CHOICE B

Choice B was considered. I was being prescient about Manny’s millions. Those are in dollar signs multiplied by 50.00 peso/dollar units. Right now, I really feel I missed out. Nag-iisip talaga ako ngayon na dapat nag-boxing ako eh. Haaaaay. (How I wish I pursued boxing, instead; sigh.)

Verdict: Concussions and accelerated Parkinson’s , anyone? Boxing is still short on immortality, man. (You say, how about Flash Elorde? Wasn’t he immortalized? Pleeease. In the first place, I wasn’t talking about symbolic immortality here. Get it.)

CHOICE C

What about Choice C? Common sense would dictate that the pursuit of the fountain of youth should properly start here. Besides, I was hearing around that medicine was not for the mortal and faint-hearted. Which meant, in my leap of logic at that time, that aha, pursuing medicine would imply I would be immortal!!

And so, pursue medicine I did.

Verdict: Today, I am a doctor practicing medicine 24/7 with wobbling knees and a 101% stressed-out semi-formed life. In the pursuit of immortality, I feel short on immortality.

IN RETROSPECT

In retrospect, all three choices were short on immortality. I now realize I chose C as a spur-of-the-moment response to 9/11 and to the movie A Walk to Remember—the swelling of emotions, the sudden awareness of an existing God, and the tendency to extend a helping hand to the victims of 9/11.

The moral here is to never ever make decisions when you are emotional.

Really, in retrospect, I should have chosen Choice A, which was the lesser evil. Choice A was really an all-of-the-above scenario. I get to act as a boxer. I get to star as a doctor-to-be in A Walk to Remember of my own.

Not choosing Choice A was a personal blunder that rates as one of the biggest blunders of all time, among them Jonathan Abram's decision not to sell Friendster to Google and Jerry Yang's refusal to sell Yahoo! to Microsoft.

x-D